Conversations with my cat
“HOLY FUCK!” “um…” ‘WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?” “I… uh… Well, I went to a movie…” “A MOVIE? A -MOVIE-?! AND WHAT – LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE ALL NIGHT?”...
“HOLY FUCK!” “um…” ‘WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?” “I… uh… Well, I went to a movie…” “A MOVIE? A -MOVIE-?! AND WHAT – LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE ALL NIGHT?”...
“MEOW!” *jumps* “..what the?” *groans* “It’s still dark out!” “OH HEY! You’re awake – GREAT!” “No, not great – I need to sleep.” “No, you need to feed...
“WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!” “I bought a house and moved us.” “WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU WARN ME?” “I told you several times we were moving.” ‘WHEN?! WHEN DID YOU EVER TELL ME THAT WE...
“MEOW!” *wakes up with a cat in his face* “Oh GOOD! You’re awake. Look, I’ve been thinking…” *groan* “What time is it?” “Time? What’s that?” “As in the digits on a...
“Okay – tell me something…” *stretched out on the bed* “What’s that?” “How is it that you have maybe 1% of the total mass of this bed-” “Yeah?” “-and yet, when you’re...
(yeah, I know it’s early. Enjoy it...
“omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!” “What?” *runs to the backporch window sill* “omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!” “WHAT?!” “BIRDS!” *laughs* “Yeah – they come out when it’s nice...
With the holiday season here again, and more and more people spending more and more time on the busy, bustling streets of our great cities, I’ve decided in the interest of safety and public service, that we need to talk about a few things...
“Dude! What’s wrong?” “I hurt my back.” “Seriously? How’d you do that?” “I’m not sure. I think I twisted when I shouldn’t have. Now it hurts to breathe.” “Whoa! Dude!...
“Who’s a kitty cat?” “Go away.” *Walks over to the window sill* “‘oos a kitty!” “I’m warning you – go away!” *scratches ears* “‘ooos a widdle kitty cat!”...
“Your claws are getting long. You should let me trim them.” “Talons.” “What?” “Talons, not ‘claws’ and no you can’t trim them. I need them for stuff.” “Like what?”...
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