Daylight Savings

clock*alarm goes off*

*turns it OFF*

*rolls over*

*says ‘Ack!’ as cold, wet cat nose touches my nose*

*rolls over again*

*tries to ignore LOUD purring*

*opens one eye and looks at darkened window – Brain: You’ve got plenty of time… it’s still dark out…*

*Cat purrs building to crescendo*

*rolls over again*

*pulls covers over head*

*sudden, heavy silence descends on the world*


*eyes pop open*

*still dark outside*

*Brain – wait…*

*Jump out of bed*

*look at clock*

*30 minutes since alarm went off*


*Cat – *stares with that judgey ‘I told you so’ thing only cat’s can do**


*hops in shower*

*Forgot to shave!*

*hops out of shower*


*hops back in shower*


*hops out of shower*

*Cat – “MEOW!”*

*translation: “WHERE’S MY FUCKING FOOD, HUMAN?”*

*brushes teeth, gets dressed, races down stairs *Cat – *races too!* Cat – *wins!***

*feeds cat*

*Cat – “This? This is what you give me? *sniff* Maybe I’ll eat it later. Maybe I won’t. You don’t know. YOU AREN’T MY BOSS! OMG I HATE YOU!”*


*wonders why no one has made the Cat/Teenager connection before this moment….*

*gets in car, starts car, tunes radio to local traffic*

“…cident on I25 near 6th that has everything backed up-”



*(head on steering wheel)*

*Radio – “Hope that time change hasn’t messed up your morning… ha ha ha…”*

“Fuck you, dude. Fuck you…”