Conversations with my cat

Shadow the cat: Where have you been?

Work. I go to work five days a week at the same time every day.  You know this!

So you say – how do I know you aren’t off playing with some other cat, huh?

There are no other cats in my life.  Well, except Dakota of course.

. . .  Yeah, he’s shifty.  I can tell.

How?

His butt smells shifty.

I’m glad there was an ‘f’ in there.  So, you smell his butt?

Well, yeah – I mean, he’s scary and all but a butt is a butt – you gotta sniff a butt.

That is so gross.

I’m smelling yours right now.

You’re a foot away!

Dude, that really says more about you than it does about me.

. . .