/begin random thoughts
Ack!
* * *
I should totally get pie today…
* * *
That can’t be good… Look at the way it’s just hanging there… I should tell someone…
* * *
Notgonnasaysomethingstupid, notgonnasaysomethingstupid, notgonnasaysomethingstu- Ah, shit.
* * *
Wheeeeeeee….
* * *
44, 45, 46, huh. weird. How’d that get in there? *tosses it aside* 4-… uh… 4-… uh. 1, 2, 3, 4-
* * *
*radio announcer* Are you a woman entering menopause?
No.
*radio announcer* How many hot flashes do you have each day?
None.
*radio announcer* Do you feel fatigued in the late afternoon?
…well, yeah. Sometimes.
*radio announcer* Do you wish you had more energy and a stronger sex drive?
…sure, who doesn’t?
*radio announcer* Would you like to lose weight too?
…okay, okay – I’m listening!
*radio announcer* Try our new drug for menopausal women!
Wait -what? No. You tricked me.
*radio announcer* We didn’t trick you!
. . .
*radio announcer* it’s the new drug that solves all of your menopausal problems! Some side effects may occur.
Of course.
*radio announcer* But don’t worry about those – that’s why we say them really quickly at the end of the commercial.
I knew it! Lying sack of shit…
*radio announcer* So, order our new drug that cures all you menopausal symptoms AND gives you a better SEX LIFE AND more energy AND feeds starving children in Africa-
Why is it always Africa? Are there no starving children anywhere else?
*radio announcer* -and helps Angels to get their wings. *crowd goes awwwwww*
Right. Uh-huh.
*radio announcer* DoesNOTfeedstarvingchildreninAfrica, maynotgrantAngelstheirwings, maycausebleeding, eyeirritation, jointpain, lossofsexdrive-
WAIT! You just said-
*radio announcer* -headaches, drymouth, itching-
I am so turning the channel.
*new radio announcer* Do you have cats? Do they keep you from sleeping the night through?
*ears perk up*
/end random thoughts
~P
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