/begin random thoughts
Every time I type ‘functional nerds’, I leave out the ‘c’ and have to fix it.
Every time I type @johnanealio, I add an extra ‘n’ and have to fix it as well.
Sometimes, I don’t catch either mistake as I’m in a hurry…
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The other night, both cats were asleep on the couch. Dakota woke up and turned to Shadow, who promptly started grooming him. This would’ve been a really cool thing if they hadn’t got into a massive duster not ten minutes later that I had to break up because I was afraid they’d kill each other.
There’s a definite power struggle going on between them and I know that it has to resolve itself (or that it might never resolve itself). I really, really want them to get to a point where it’s just a couple cats playing and not a battle royale for supreme control over the house.
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I’m all for doing what we can for the environment, but I am not an environmentalist. One of the things that I know has a huge impact is the new trend towards cloth grocery bags instead of plastic. Problem is, it bugs the living shit out of me.
I am not a shopper. I don’t shop. I don’t like to browse the aisles of the local grocery store looking for deals. I plan my trips like a precise military incursion; Enter through the main doors snagging a small basket (also known as a ‘Single Guy Indicator Badge’) and immediately veer right into produce to avoid crowds. Cut through and up the far side until you hit the bakery and place one loaf in basket, immediately cut across to milk and gather one gallon and then shoot to pasta asile for one package spahetti and one jar sauce. If funds are available, a side trip to ‘meats’ is acceptable for ground beef and or sausage. Once all items on list have been placed in basket, head directly to check out – DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT! DO NOT ENGAGE EMPLOYEE OFFERING FREE SAMPLES OF STOUFFERS PIZZA BITES BECAUSE IT IS A TRAP AND YOU WILL DIE YOU WILL DIE YOU WILL FUCKING DIE! (of heart disease in 30 years or so…)
Once I get to the checkout, my entire trip having used up only seven and a half minutes thus far, I must now wait in line for twenty-three minutes while the people in front of me insist on using their cloth grocery bags to carry their three flats of plastic water bottles (yay environment!), causing a bottle neck (pun…).
Grocery checkout is an assembly line. A well oiled machine, as it were, and the whole thing comes crashing down on your head when you throw a wrench into the machinery and, unfortunately, cloth bags are the wrench.
A clever store might, just might, do an exchange program. Replace all plastic bags with cloth bags so there’s nothing to change up or cause problems on the line. Then, when you come in to get groceries, you take your old bags and toss em in a bin to be cleaned and reused while taking fresh bags from the line. (how about a barcode on each bag attached to your account – scan em out, scan em in, get charged a nominal fee like 10cents a bag, credited back when you return em or some such?)
A clever store might do that. Most stores aren’t clever.
My mom works at WalMart as a cashier. She says nothing causes them more trouble than when someone brings in a cloth bag. They are pressured, massively pressured, to be fast, fast, fast – faster than their peers, faster than the Flash when scanning and bagging. They DREAD seeing the cloth bags coming down the line because they worry about how it’s going to impact their score for the day.
Does that sound right to you? Me either.
The other thing she says they dread is what they might find when they open the bags people bring in. One day, the lady across from mom opened such a bag and screamed her head off, quickly dropping it and backing away from it like it were on fire. Apparently, when she opened it, spiders spewed forth…
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I don’t know that I like the new Doctor Who. There’s just something off about it. Hard to put my finger on it.