“You know, we have an odd relationship.”

“…who’re you again?”

“I feed you. I clean up your poop. I make sure you have fresh water in your dish.”

“is this going somewhere?  I have plans…”

“Yes this is going somewhere.  I do all that stuff for you – what do you do for me?”

“I do this.” *flips over, stretching out to his full length, smiling up and purring*

“OMG SO CUTE!  OOO NEEDS ‘IS TUMMY RUBBED! OOOO NEEDS ‘IS TUMMY RUBBED!”

“…you are totally my bitch.”