My mom accidentally locked the cats in the basement for a few hours.  She went down there to look for something, didn’t realized she’d been followed, walked up the stairs, shut the door and then headed up to the second floor to clean her bathroom and bedroom.  She kept hearing them meowing and [...]]]> /begin random thoughts

My mom accidentally locked the cats in the basement for a few hours.  She went down there to look for something, didn’t realized she’d been followed, walked up the stairs, shut the door and then headed up to the second floor to clean her bathroom and bedroom.  She kept hearing them meowing and called to them, telling them she was upstairs, trying to encourage them to come up there.  When they kept crying, she finally decided to go see why there were being lazy and found that they were in the basement.

This resulted in two things: 1) Mom felt horrible; I told her they’re cats and they will survive the ‘trauma’ of being locked in the basement for a couple of hours. 2) The cats were very clingy and well behaved last night; essentially they were all, “First you take us to that man in the white coat who cut our Talons & poured goop in our ears, then you lock us in the basement!? WE’LL BE GOOD FROM NOW ON – WE SWEARS!!!”

* * *

The channel formerly known as SciFi used to have a web extension of itself known as SciFi Wire; this was the news service for SciFi and had, sprinkled in-between ads for Ghost Hunters and Warehouse 13, bits of news about the SciFi community.  But, alas, they have chosen to give it a new, stupid name (Blastr) because they really don’t care one iota about the fan base that built them.  So from now on, that site (if it ever gets mentioned again around here) shall be known as: the website formerly known as SciFi Wire.

* * *

I am no longer receiving email notifications when someone leaves a comment on the blog.  I don’t know why.  I’m supposed to get one.  I’ve checked my spam / junk folder and they’re not ending up there, so it’s a real mystery as to why they aren’t showing up.

If you leave a comment and don’t see it after a few hours, shoot me an email so I can approve it.  After you’ve been approved once, you’re all good.  Still, I wish WP would tell me there’s a new comment (approved or otherwise) to be read.

* * *

I mentioned before that I’d written a short story; it came out of nowhere last Saturday.  I don’t know what my muse had for dinner Friday night, but by Saturday, she wanted me to write a space Western, which I did.  Well, half of one anyway.  I’ve been itching to get back to it but other things have come up.

Monday at lunch, I went through and edited what I’d already written, fixing some stuff, adding stuff, deleting – that sort of thing.  On paper.  Then I took that home and Monday night, made all the changes in Scrivener.

Tuesday was podcast recording night.  Wednesday was the first half of podcast editing and the morning when I woke up in pain in my right shoulder and back.  No freaking clue what I did, but it persists today (Thursday) and kept me up late last night trying to fall asleep while not moving.  Normally, it only takes Wednesday to edit the podcast, but I skipped a step when I exported it from the software I use to record Skype and had to do it again, which takes forever and set me way back.  Tonight will be the second half of podcast editing because of that little step skip I did, and my weekly glance at Evermist to make sure I haven’t screwed anything up there.

That means it’ll be tomorrow night before I get back to my Space Western.  Sigh.

/end random thoughts

~P

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…spoilers abound.  You have been warned.

The cliffhanger episode has become a staple of the genre show.  It was once used by soap opera type shows like Dallas to pull viewers in and get them [...]]]> So.  The channel formerly known as SciFi hit the ground running once again with some summer programming.  First we had Warehouse 13.

…spoilers abound.  You have been warned.

The cliffhanger episode has become a staple of the genre show.  It was once used by soap opera type shows like Dallas to pull viewers in and get them talking throughout the break about the show and keep that buzz going.  Now, it’s a device that merely just pisses us off.

That’s because the wrap up of the cliffhanger more often than not happens as quickly as possible.  If not in the first moments of the show, then in the first act of the show, which was the case with Warehouse 13.  Last thing we saw was Artie get blowed up real good.  He comes back, of course, and they explain it away really quickly and explain away most everything else really quickly too, which I hate.

The cliffhanger wrap up has become a terrible terrible thing.  Almost always, the writers, producers or studio execs – whoever is passing the notes around, want to get on with it already, so I don’t think it has the impact that it used to.

As for Warehouse 13, it’s a fun show that you can turn your brain off for.  In fact, I would recommend you turn your brain off when watching it or else you’ll drive yourself up a wall over some stuff.  The opening episode for this season had the elements I’ve come to expect from the show; Artie running around thinking he knows everything only to learn, at the last possible moment, that it’s all upside down, Mica and Pete going off on one of their usual missions while Claudia gets in trouble.

The only surprising piece of entertainment was the addition of H.G. Wells as the big bad; and that H.G. is actually female.

Haven is based on some Stephen King story – The Colorado Kid.  The pilot was entertaining.  An FBI agent is sent to a small, coastal town in Maine to retrieve a fugitive only she finds that he’s been killed when she arrives.  She gets caught up in the investigation of his death and soon realizes that there’s some weird things going on in Haven.  Weird like fogs rolling in and blanketing the town in a matter of seconds, like tornadoes appearing out of nowhere and freak electrical storms.

All in all, it was pretty entertaining, but I don’t know if it has any lasting power.  There’s some cool elements, like the detective who feels no pain, the picture in the town paper from twenty or thirty years past that seems to show the FBI agents mother (she’s an orphan, never knew her mother), stuff like that.  Plus, there’s the fact that it is a Stephen King story, but they’ve tried to turn his stories into tv before with lackluster success.

Still, it was nice to see Nicole DeBoer (Dax from DS9, love interest from that other King show on USA network whose name escapes me) again.

As for Eureka – it’s still sitting in my TiVo waiting to be watched.  That is one fun, smart show and I want to savor it and this weekend was dedicated to (mostly) writing.  I’ll catch it one night this week before the next one airs.

~P

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I wish I could better streamline my day and time.  Aren’t we all about that?  Getting more done, having more time, etc and so on?

I find there are times when I wish my body wouldn’t betray my brain; I want to write, to work on this or that, but my body is all, [...]]]> /begin random thoughts

I wish I could better streamline my day and time.  Aren’t we all about that?  Getting more done, having more time, etc and so on?

I find there are times when I wish my body wouldn’t betray my brain; I want to write, to work on this or that, but my body is all, ‘No! Too tired! Must sleep now!’ and my brain is still going.  They need to make a pill for that.

“Cyzquarhoshilopozine!  The new drug that makes it possible for you to work, without sleep!  May cause drowsiness, mild depression, suicidal tendencies, rage, serial killer-ism, psychotic outbreaks, chicken pocks, muscle spasms, erectile dysfunction or loss of sex drive, bleeding from your eyes, demonic possession, delusions of grandeur, political aspirations, asthma, hearing loss, appendicitis, brain tumors, cancer of the uvula, swelling of the ears, tongue, fingers or toes, hair loss, rectal bleeding, death, zombie-ism and pimples.”

Also, I’d like to be better at using the time I do have to get stuff done.  I keep looking at my lunch hour and thinking, ‘How can I squeeze some more productivity out of that bad boy?’  I already try to write these little blog posts during that time, what more can I manage, I wonder?

* * *

The other night, I went to B&N.  I told myself that I was just going to go, hang out, have a piece of cheesecake and not spend a ton of money.

A ton of money later…

* * *

I’m getting a desk from a guy to go in my basement office / man cave / TARDIS area and he keeps putting off when he’ll be able to deliver it.  I don’t have a vehicle that can haul the damned thing.  I suppose I could borrow one but part of me doesn’t mind the wait because it allows me to procrastinate.  See, when the desk arrives, I’ve committed myself to the whole ‘bookshelf, setup the office environment’ project, so putting that off is okay cuz it’s a daunting task for a non carpentry computer guy.

* * *

I bought a new dishwasher to replace the old dishwasher.  The old dishwasher SOUNDED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME – CAN YOU HEAR ME?  I CAN’T HEAR YOU – LET’S GO OUTSIDE WHERE IT’S QUIET AND WE CAN CHAT, OK?  The new dishwasher sounds no louder than a really quiet cat purring.  The difference is absolutely astounding.

The dishwasher marks a milestone, or maybe just an as yet unprecedented incredible moment in my life wherein I didn’t have to get ‘what I could afford’ but rather ‘what I wanted’.  I’ve always saved up for big purchases, which I think we all do.  A lot of times, we set our targets on something and then save until we can afford it.  I tend to compromise even on that – I’ll see what’s out there, see what I could save for and then talk myself out of the more expensive stuff and settle for something ‘I can afford’ sooner.  Have done that for most of my adult life.

With this dishwasher, I had my tax credit from the purchase of my house fresh in the bank.  There were lots of different dishwashers that I could afford, but I went for a couple bells & whistles that I wouldn’t normally have gone for (like I really, really wanted a quieter one) and I didn’t sweat the extra $100 or whatever to get it.

Of course, after that purchase, I am back on being miserly with my money on big purchases (and some little ones too).  Still, it was fun to do once…

* * *

Tonight, Eureka! returns to the channel formerly known as SciFi.  I’m excited!  That is one very fun little show.  My TiVo is set just in case something comes up and I can’t watch it live.  Also setup to record Haven because I want to see what that’s all about.

/end random thoughts

~P

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His covers grace books from many different publishers, have won [...]]]> Once again, my friend John Anealio and I had the privilege of hosting a fantastic guest over on the Functional Nerds podcast. John Picacio is an award winning artist who has put together some of the most memorable cover art I’ve seen in a long time.

His covers grace books from many different publishers, have won or been nominated for some of the industries most prestigious awards and he is in very high demand to produce more – but you know what else?  He is a really nice guy and a great person to chat with.

Before the show even started, we were chatting about the (possible) origins of his surname, Bob Ross on PBS and a slew of other things that prompted John Anealio to comment, “Maybe we should save some of this for the podcast, guys!”

(I’ll clue you in to a secret – John has to say that a lot. I have the gift of gab, people.)

The ‘official’ portion of the conversation included a bit about how he got started creating book covers, his time as an architect, the future of genre covers in general and how he approaches each commission.

What I took away from the whole thing was a very grounded guy, very personable, knows what he’s doing and does it well and is forward thinking enough to be thinking about what comes next.

Overall, an excellent conversation.  Check it out over at the Functional Nerds, episode 15.

~P

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I knew I had a problem the moment I walked through the sliding doors at the Mega-lo-mart and saw Zombies eating people.

Now, the President of these United States had just been on the idiot box telling us that we could get along with the Zombies if we just tried [...]]]> © 2010 Patrick Hester, All Rights Reserved

I knew I had a problem the moment I walked through the sliding doors at the Mega-lo-mart and saw Zombies eating people.

Now, the President of these United States had just been on the idiot box telling us that we could get along with the Zombies if we just tried to understand em better.  For me, that just seemed silly.  I mean, how can you get to understand better something that’s focused on eating your brains?  I mean, that’s the only word they know so it’s not like you can hold a conversation with one.  How would that go?

“Hello. I’d like to understand you better.”

“Brains…”

“Yes, we both have brains.  Mine’s a little less… decomposed than yours, and I tend to keep it inside my skull where yours seems to be leaking out a bit just over your ear.  Doesn’t that hurt?”

“Brains…”

Silly.

Part of me wanted to turn right around and hightail it down to the Piggy Wiggly but, as I watched a Zombie with its torn up clothes, gray skin and wild eyes start to chow down on old Mrs. Fletcher over on the number two fast lane, I figured I had to do something.

Back about a year ago, they redesigned the whole damn store to add groceries; means that where the electronics section used to be is now all fruits and vegetables and frozen goods is where the music, dvd’s and video games once lived.  All of that got moved to the back of the store which is where I headed.  I kept my eyes peeled, of course.  Last thing you want is to let your guard down around Zombies or else you’ll find yourself stumbling around repeating the same word over and over again like a broken record; Brains.  Still, I wished they hadn’t moved everything around the way they had.  Now I have to walk from one end of the store to the other to get what I need and that’s just inconvenient even on the best of days, which this was not.

My daddy was the first one to clue me into the one and only weakness of the Zombie and he figured it out on a lark one night.  He and his buddies were out hunting early one morning when this Zombie comes stumbling into their camp all stiff-armed and hungry for brains.  Well, it just happened to be near Halloween so mister Ferguson over at the radio station – the FM station, not the AM; that’s his father mister Ferguson Senior – well he, as a lark, slipped a few seconds of a Michael Jackson song in between Merle and Charlie.  People were outraged, of course.  The station got more calls and complaints about that than when he played a clip from David Letterman for April Fools.  But that’s not the point of the story.  The point is, damned if that Zombie, upon hearing the music, didn’t up and start dancing right there in the middle of the camp.  Daddy said it was the only time he didn’t see a Zombie stumble along.  It was as if the music had revitalized its whole body and, more importantly, it gave daddy’s best friend, Arlen, time to blow its head off with his double ought.

Digging through the music I found the cd I wanted, thanking my lucky stars they even stocked it (it was in the $.99 bin), then grabbed a cd player still in its box, a package of connectors and headed in the back of the store.  There wasn’t a soul in sight.  I wasn’t sure if that were a good thing or a bad so I just concentrated on the task at hand.  I found the little office where they make the announcements over the speakers and I hooked the cd player into the rca jacks, then I opened the cd (no easy task; they had sticky-stuff along the top edge, the long edge and the bottom too) put it in and set the same track to play over and over.

I could see on the little tv screens that it was working; Zombies all over the store (and there were a lot of them) had all begun to dance to the choreography of ‘Thriller’, hands raised like claws, slashing back and forth, heads tilted up, eyes wide.  It really was the damndest thing.

Once they were dancing, it was easy enough to head into sporting goods, load up a shotgun and start picking them off one by one as they slid into the isles to meet each other and dance in step.  Part of me felt bad; never was a fan of ‘duck in the barrel’, but it was kill or be eaten so…  Made a mess, too.  Brain matter everywhere, brownish bloody goo too.  Be  hell on the janitorial staff come morning.

When it was all said and done, I went over to the groceries, ‘Thriller’ still playing throughout the store, and loaded up on RC Cola and Moonpies – the reason I went on this little late night snack run.  In my heart I thought that maybe my clearing the store of Zombies might clear my taking of this little snack but in my head I knew the corporate types would never see it that way so I scanned everything on the number four fast lane and left twenty dollars on the til.

It wasn’t until I was halfway home that I realized I still had the shotgun and pockets full of shells.

Make me famous:

I say it because it’s my way of pointing out the absurdity of the whole name change bs.  I would also ridicule the [...]]]> John Anealio gave me some shit last week on the Functional Nerds podcast because I always say, ‘The channel formerly known as SciFi’ when talking about the former SciFi Channel, now called ‘SyFy’.

I say it because it’s my way of pointing out the absurdity of the whole name change bs.  I would also ridicule the Food Network if they announced they were becoming the Füd Network so they could show music videos featuring Bjorn, ABBA and Ace of Base.

The powers that be justified their stupidity by saying that changing the name would allow them to move beyond science fiction programming and make way for other types of shows and content, broadening their audience.  So, essentially, they didn’t want to be associated with science fiction anymore.  Except when they did, which wouldn’t be a lot.  Just once in a while.  Like, one night a week.  Probably Fridays.

…well, unless something better came along.

Like Wrestling.

I remember when they added wrestling on Tuesdays.  I barfed.  I also died a little bit inside.  Now, they are taking their Friday night lineup and moving it so they can make room for more wrestling.  MORE WRESTLING!

I’m going to be ill.  Again.

Why not just change your name to USA2 and get it over with?  Put us out of our misery?

~P

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It’s all over the net (io9, TVSquad, IGN) that Lucasfilm Director of Fan Relations Steve Sansweet suggested that a new animated series would continue the adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa.

How, isn’t quite clear yet.

People are kinda confused, to tell you the truth.  Including me – which is why I’m posting [...]]]> Well.

It’s all over the net (io9, TVSquad, IGN) that Lucasfilm Director of Fan Relations Steve Sansweet suggested that a new animated series would continue the adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa.

How, isn’t quite clear yet.

People are kinda confused, to tell you the truth.  Including me – which is why I’m posting about this.

The confusion is over what show the guy is talking about.  Is it Seth Green’s new Star Wars comedy?  Or is it something else entirely?

Whichever way it goes, the question now becomes – what about all those novels that’ve been written?

After Return of the Jedi came out, there wasn’t much Star Wars to be had.  There were a couple of different books and that Christmas Special no one likes to talk about.  There was also that Droid cartoon. But nothing substantive.

Enter Timothy Zahn.

I remember it well; I was walking (not loitering) in Manchester Center (a mall in Fresno) and just so happened to pass (Okay, so, maybe I lived there part time) the Waldenbooks (it’s not like they knew me by name or anything) and saw this giant sign (Okay, so, maybe they knew me by name but there’s nothing wrong with that) that said ‘Pre-order your copy of the new Star Wars novel today!’

After they stopped me from humping the sign (that totally never happened), I pre-ordered my copy and spent the next couple of months going, “WHERE THE F*&k IS MY G*# D@#N BOOK?!”

Then the day came.  It was in the store.  A Star Wars book.  A NEW Star Wars book.  It was full of Star Wars stuff.  I was sure there were lightsabers and shit.

I also remember, somewhere, at some point in time, George Lucas saying that he had authorized the books (and then I went, WHA WHA WHA?!  There will be MORE BOOKS?!) because he wasn’t going to go there anymore – he was going to concentrate on other things.

(Like friggin Jar Jar.)

So, after Zahn finished his spectacular trilogy, more books came out, furthering the adventures of Luke, Leia and Han.  Dark Horse picked up on the whole thing and started tying comic books into the ‘new canon’, expanding on it.  More books came and the universe continued to expand and become rich and deep (and sometimes utterly stupid.  Many Bothans died to bring us some stupidity…).

What happens to all of that ‘history’ if a new show goes forward based on those characters?

The only comparable parallel I can draw would be Star Trek.  When Star Trek went off the air the first time (TOS), there were some different incarnations of it that showed up including an animated series, some comic books, even a few novels.

When Pocket Books took over the franchise, the authors involved in the new stories (initially) kept a continuity between novels.  This ended fairly quickly when Pocket Books (Or Paramount, or maybe even Roddenberry himself (who had issues with ‘those damn books!’)) put the kaibosh on the idea of any sort of continuity.  In the beginning of all of that stuff, there wasn’t any sort of official canon policy.

That did change though.

Paramount, via the website StarTrek.com, has said some stuff about canon.  First up:

“Although the Animated Adventures had an undeniable Star Trek-ness to them, they are not considered part of the Star Trek “canon,” or accepted Trek storyline. Almost without exception, it is the live-action series and movies that are considered canon. However, some Star Trek “facts” are actually borrowed from the animated show, i.e. the name of the original U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 captain, Robert April; the surname for Spock’s mother, Amanda “Grayson”; etc.”

Second, when specifically asked, “What is considered Star Trek canon?”, Paramount answered in an FAQ:

“As a rule of thumb, the events that take place within the live action episodes and movies are canon, or official Star Trek facts. Story lines, characters, events, stardates, etc. that take place within the fictional novels, the Animated Adventures, and the various comic lines are not canon.

There are a couple of exceptions to this rule: the Jeri Taylor penned novels “Mosaic” and “Pathways.” Many of the events in these two novels feature background details of the main Star Trek: Voyager characters. (Note: There are a few details from an episode of the Animated Adventures that have entered into the Star Trek canon. The episode “Yesteryear,” written by D.C. Fontana, features some biographical background on Spock.)”

Given this stance on what is and what isn’t canon from the only other comparable series out there, I would lean towards Lucas going the same way as Paramount, which sucks.  It means that all that new history is left to flap in the wind.

I doubt Lucas will be as thoughtful about it as Roddenberry was.  Roddenberry didn’t green light the Star Trek novels the way Lucas did, so he wasn’t very happy with them.  In a letter he was quoted as saying:

“Yes, I dream of how nice it would be if I had been able to own it wholly and control all rights. Many of the present Star Trek novels would never have appeared and probably none of them without some really extensive rewriting. On the other hand, by giving the property my sole attention there would have been many novels I would have written, keeping the entire Star Trek property more cohesive. Certainly it would have been fun to see Earth and Federation civilization of that century better explained. But none of this was possible, as my attitude now is that it has probably worked out as well as it could have happened in this real world that I must live in. And I am grateful for the talent of those who did write those books and stories. Indeed, I am not past hoping that the entire experience is leading me toward something more important, even more more fulfilling.”

I don’t know that Lucas can be quite so magnanimous.

~P

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That’s what I said. I said ‘whoa!’ when I saw an email in my inbox from John DeNardo over at sfsignal.com.  It said: HEY YOU! ATFMB GUY! RIDDLE ME THIS:

Q: What are some of your favorite genre crossovers?

(He may have actually written it out much nicer than that)

Giddy, I responded (at the last possible moment, [...]]]> Whoa!

That’s what I said. I said ‘whoa!’ when I saw an email in my inbox from John DeNardo over at sfsignal.com.  It said: HEY YOU! ATFMB GUY! RIDDLE ME THIS:

Q: What are some of your favorite genre crossovers?

(He may have actually written it out much nicer than that)

Giddy, I responded (at the last possible moment, of course), and the whole thing is now up over on the site: SfSignal.com

…you read it, right? RIGHT?

If not, what the heck are you waiting for?! A lot of cool people were involved, as per usual.  Worth your time…

~P

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Well, that’s not true – I like shopping for certain things like DVD’s, music, video games, gadgets – but groceries, clothing, toothpaste – I hate it.  Especially the toothpaste.  I mean, do we REALLY need a hundred different versions of Crest?

Anyway, what I want to know is this: How do you know what [...]]]> I hate shopping.

Well, that’s not true – I like shopping for certain things like DVD’s, music, video games, gadgets – but groceries, clothing, toothpaste – I hate it.  Especially the toothpaste.  I mean, do we REALLY need a hundred different versions of Crest?

Anyway, what I want to know is this: How do you know what to read?

When I go to the bookstore, I browse; I walk through the stacks, I check out covers, publishers, cover  comments – that sort of thing, to see if I want to read something.

What’s really difficult for me, is reading something from an author I don’t know.  Recommendations from friends are great and they help a lot, but sometimes you’re just there, in the store, a whole section of scifi and fantasy goodness all around you and it’s all up to you!

I admit, publisher/imprint means a lot to me.  I know that I like books that have been written, for example, but authors of TOR/Forge, so I will check the spine.

I also judge a book by the cover.  Sometimes this bites me in the butt.  Take a look at a few books I’ve bought recently, some based soley on the covers:

I bought 'Haze' because I'm a fan of Modesitt, but book sorely disappointed me.

'Daughter of the Blood' looked like it could be a good one, but it's starting slow and I haven't picked it up in a long time.

I loved 'The Crown of Stars' series, so I bought this one solely because Kate Elliott wrote it.

I bought this book based on the cover and the fact there was a sequel, but after a few chapters, I put it down. It just didn't appeal to me.

So, as you can see – the covers on all of these books are appealing; some I bought because of their covers, some because of their authors.  In the case of one of my favorites, Modesitt, the book confused the hell out of me.  It was, in a word, boring – which is sad for so many reasons.  In the case of Kate Elliott, I bought Spirit Gate riding on the coat tails of her ‘Crown of Stars’ series that I loved,  but I haven’t cracked this one open yet because I know it’s going to be a huge investment and I don’t know that I can devote that time just now.  Later.

The other two books I purchased based on their covers and both fell flat for me.

So, my question to you is – how do you know what to read?  How do you pick a book?  How often do you hit and how often do you miss?

Nosey minds want to know…

~P

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