I say it because it’s my way of pointing out the absurdity of the whole name change bs.  I would also ridicule the [...]]]> John Anealio gave me some shit last week on the Functional Nerds podcast because I always say, ‘The channel formerly known as SciFi’ when talking about the former SciFi Channel, now called ‘SyFy’.

I say it because it’s my way of pointing out the absurdity of the whole name change bs.  I would also ridicule the Food Network if they announced they were becoming the Füd Network so they could show music videos featuring Bjorn, ABBA and Ace of Base.

The powers that be justified their stupidity by saying that changing the name would allow them to move beyond science fiction programming and make way for other types of shows and content, broadening their audience.  So, essentially, they didn’t want to be associated with science fiction anymore.  Except when they did, which wouldn’t be a lot.  Just once in a while.  Like, one night a week.  Probably Fridays.

…well, unless something better came along.

Like Wrestling.

I remember when they added wrestling on Tuesdays.  I barfed.  I also died a little bit inside.  Now, they are taking their Friday night lineup and moving it so they can make room for more wrestling.  MORE WRESTLING!

I’m going to be ill.  Again.

Why not just change your name to USA2 and get it over with?  Put us out of our misery?

~P

Make me famous:

It’s all over the net (io9, TVSquad, IGN) that Lucasfilm Director of Fan Relations Steve Sansweet suggested that a new animated series would continue the adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa.

How, isn’t quite clear yet.

People are kinda confused, to tell you the truth.  Including me – which is why I’m posting [...]]]> Well.

It’s all over the net (io9, TVSquad, IGN) that Lucasfilm Director of Fan Relations Steve Sansweet suggested that a new animated series would continue the adventures of Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa.

How, isn’t quite clear yet.

People are kinda confused, to tell you the truth.  Including me – which is why I’m posting about this.

The confusion is over what show the guy is talking about.  Is it Seth Green’s new Star Wars comedy?  Or is it something else entirely?

Whichever way it goes, the question now becomes – what about all those novels that’ve been written?

After Return of the Jedi came out, there wasn’t much Star Wars to be had.  There were a couple of different books and that Christmas Special no one likes to talk about.  There was also that Droid cartoon. But nothing substantive.

Enter Timothy Zahn.

I remember it well; I was walking (not loitering) in Manchester Center (a mall in Fresno) and just so happened to pass (Okay, so, maybe I lived there part time) the Waldenbooks (it’s not like they knew me by name or anything) and saw this giant sign (Okay, so, maybe they knew me by name but there’s nothing wrong with that) that said ‘Pre-order your copy of the new Star Wars novel today!’

After they stopped me from humping the sign (that totally never happened), I pre-ordered my copy and spent the next couple of months going, “WHERE THE F*&k IS MY G*# D@#N BOOK?!”

Then the day came.  It was in the store.  A Star Wars book.  A NEW Star Wars book.  It was full of Star Wars stuff.  I was sure there were lightsabers and shit.

I also remember, somewhere, at some point in time, George Lucas saying that he had authorized the books (and then I went, WHA WHA WHA?!  There will be MORE BOOKS?!) because he wasn’t going to go there anymore – he was going to concentrate on other things.

(Like friggin Jar Jar.)

So, after Zahn finished his spectacular trilogy, more books came out, furthering the adventures of Luke, Leia and Han.  Dark Horse picked up on the whole thing and started tying comic books into the ‘new canon’, expanding on it.  More books came and the universe continued to expand and become rich and deep (and sometimes utterly stupid.  Many Bothans died to bring us some stupidity…).

What happens to all of that ‘history’ if a new show goes forward based on those characters?

The only comparable parallel I can draw would be Star Trek.  When Star Trek went off the air the first time (TOS), there were some different incarnations of it that showed up including an animated series, some comic books, even a few novels.

When Pocket Books took over the franchise, the authors involved in the new stories (initially) kept a continuity between novels.  This ended fairly quickly when Pocket Books (Or Paramount, or maybe even Roddenberry himself (who had issues with ‘those damn books!’)) put the kaibosh on the idea of any sort of continuity.  In the beginning of all of that stuff, there wasn’t any sort of official canon policy.

That did change though.

Paramount, via the website StarTrek.com, has said some stuff about canon.  First up:

“Although the Animated Adventures had an undeniable Star Trek-ness to them, they are not considered part of the Star Trek “canon,” or accepted Trek storyline. Almost without exception, it is the live-action series and movies that are considered canon. However, some Star Trek “facts” are actually borrowed from the animated show, i.e. the name of the original U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701 captain, Robert April; the surname for Spock’s mother, Amanda “Grayson”; etc.”

Second, when specifically asked, “What is considered Star Trek canon?”, Paramount answered in an FAQ:

“As a rule of thumb, the events that take place within the live action episodes and movies are canon, or official Star Trek facts. Story lines, characters, events, stardates, etc. that take place within the fictional novels, the Animated Adventures, and the various comic lines are not canon.

There are a couple of exceptions to this rule: the Jeri Taylor penned novels “Mosaic” and “Pathways.” Many of the events in these two novels feature background details of the main Star Trek: Voyager characters. (Note: There are a few details from an episode of the Animated Adventures that have entered into the Star Trek canon. The episode “Yesteryear,” written by D.C. Fontana, features some biographical background on Spock.)”

Given this stance on what is and what isn’t canon from the only other comparable series out there, I would lean towards Lucas going the same way as Paramount, which sucks.  It means that all that new history is left to flap in the wind.

I doubt Lucas will be as thoughtful about it as Roddenberry was.  Roddenberry didn’t green light the Star Trek novels the way Lucas did, so he wasn’t very happy with them.  In a letter he was quoted as saying:

“Yes, I dream of how nice it would be if I had been able to own it wholly and control all rights. Many of the present Star Trek novels would never have appeared and probably none of them without some really extensive rewriting. On the other hand, by giving the property my sole attention there would have been many novels I would have written, keeping the entire Star Trek property more cohesive. Certainly it would have been fun to see Earth and Federation civilization of that century better explained. But none of this was possible, as my attitude now is that it has probably worked out as well as it could have happened in this real world that I must live in. And I am grateful for the talent of those who did write those books and stories. Indeed, I am not past hoping that the entire experience is leading me toward something more important, even more more fulfilling.”

I don’t know that Lucas can be quite so magnanimous.

~P

Make me famous:

In this weeks ATFMB podcast, I talk about scifi television, including the renewal of Fox hit Fringe for a 3rd season, Chuck’s ratings win that might mean a 4th season and how i09 has a list of 25 books Hollywood should be making movies out of, how HBO has greenlit a new series based on [...]]]> #11

In this weeks ATFMB podcast, I talk about scifi television, including the renewal of Fox hit Fringe for a 3rd season, Chuck’s ratings win that might mean a 4th season and how i09 has a list of 25 books Hollywood should be making movies out of, how HBO has greenlit a new series based on the Song of Fire and Ice fantasy novels by George R. R. Martin, how Bruce Wayne, like every other comic book character who has ever died before him, is ‘coming back’ to the DC Universe and how Comics Should Be Good – which is the title of a new blog that I absolutely love.  In music, I share with you my thoughts on Susan Tedeschi, blues goddess and not so secret crush.

~P

Susan Tedeschi on iTunes

Comics Should be Good

DCU Bruce Wayne Returns

Susan Tedeschi

Make me famous:

I wanted to share something different with you today.  It’s not Flash Fiction due to it’s length, but nor it is really a short story.  It’s something in-between.

It’s a bit of future-history from The New Universe (my own little sandbox of creative endeavors – everything I write exists in this little Universe I’ve created).  [...]]]> Happy Monday.

I wanted to share something different with you today.  It’s not Flash Fiction due to it’s length, but nor it is really a short story.  It’s something in-between.

It’s a bit of future-history from The New Universe (my own little sandbox of creative endeavors – everything I write exists in this little Universe I’ve created).  I hope you like it.

Tales from The New Universe: Gunny Homn

© 2009, Patrick Hester.  All Rights Reserved

Descent

The Slider shook violently as it sliced through the atmosphere.  The exterior glowed white hot, the heat shield pushing away the worst of it to form a long tail in its wake.  Inside, she felt none of it; her body snug in the viscous gel that kept her blood oxygenated, her body safe from the G-forces the Slider was experiencing and from the heat and friction chipping away at the surface of the craft.

Just large enough for one person, the Sliders sole purpose was to deliver someone to the surface of a planet with minimal time, effort and cost.

Someone like Gunny Homn.

*  *  *

Homn pulled the strings of her boots tight, the worked, brown leather laces wrapping around the knee-high, tan boots four times before they were short enough to be tied.  Her pants were tucked in and tied up the sides, simple cotton leggings beneath them.  Her belt was braided and made of stiffer stock, carrying two pouches, a long-blade dagger and a smaller, flat blade knife used for eating.  The tan shirt also had a second, cotton shirt beneath it that doubled as a lining and she wore a green, short cut vest and matching jacket over that.  The long, dark, oiled cloak that would complete her outfit still rested on the back of the chair next to the desk.

A quick look in the mirror and she flashes the woman reflected there a rare grin, tugging on the thick braid of hair hanging down, hugging the left side of her face.  She definitely looked the part of a heathen.  Now, she just needed to convince the Vice-Captain.

*  *  *

“Unification is the single greatest priority for the Human Race,” said the speaker on the chat, wearing a brown L’oum-suit with gold trim and a mirror-mask reflecting the gray L’oum of the interviewer.  “Between the dilution of the Blood and the Cullings, we really cannot afford to allow these lost, backward splinter worlds to continue their Unholy Evolutionary Paths unaided.”

The mirror-mask of the interviewer held a blue tint, trimmed in pale red.  “But, many within the Hierarchy of the Dome, argue that these splinter worlds, because of the divergence in their Evolution, are actually throwbacks to a baser, lesser Human existence than what we know today and will only serve to further pollute our lines if Unification is allowed.  How do you respond to them?”

“Don’t you see?  That is precisely why we must bring them back into the fold.  Because they are throwbacks, their Blood is much closer to Genetic Purity.  They haven’t experienced the Degradation as so many of us have.  For generations, dilution of the Blood has caused more and more genetic mutation and weakening.  These splinter worlds have survived in the old ways.  They have diseases, suffer from exposure to bacteria, breed through sexual reproduction – things that we have not experienced in thousands of years.  Because of this, they build up tolerances we can only dream of.  Bringing them back into the fold will only strengthen us over time and ensure the continued expression of The Message throughout the Universe.”

Homn nodded thoughtfully.  High Command agreed with this assessment.  There was a program being developed even now to try and find these splinter worlds, assess the odds of successful Unification.  They were even looking for volunteers who might be willing to act as the Forerunners.  Fingering the a’Ddah of her N’osh to align with the docking web, she wondered what that might entail, a sense of adventure beginning to take shape in her heart.

*  *  *

“These images were taken from a high orbiting o’Anah’N'ret.  A splinter world.  We believe there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of such worlds, scattered across the Universe.  Upon the Breaking, many fled the Culling of the Ute and no record was made of their journey, nor their destinations, so that the Evil may not find them.”

Homn stared at the images flashing slowly across the scried.  She was shocked to see people so naked.  Not a single one wore the Sacred L’oum or made any effort to hide their Souls from the Universe.  Many around her seemed just as disturbed as she, some turning away in disgust or fear.  As she watched, an image of a woman stunned her; she had long hair, wrapped upon itself in an intricate pattern that seemed impossible to her eye.  Never had she seen such hair, spilling from the woman’s head down one side of her naked face.  Her skin was strange, darkened with hue and color, and she wore some sort of garment that covered parts of her but could not have protected her from the Universe.  Also, it accentuated her shape in a scandalous fashion, taking away any semblance of Blessed Androgyny.

Equally, men were naked to the Universe, their faces visible, skin darkened, clothes seemingly made to somehow accentuate their differences rather than hide them as was proper.  It was as if madness had taken them.  She had heard of whole Seeqhs going mad, removing the Sacred L’oum, mixing and comingling as savages, Souls naked to the Universe.  It was the kind of thing you told in hushed tones to frighten and motivate the young newly hatched.

“They are more primitive than we could have ever imagined.  To contact them will require sacrifice and dedication above and beyond anything that has ever been asked before.  Only the strongest of us will be able to endure such trials.  No one will judge you if you choose to leave now.”

Homn stared, curiosity warring with fear in her heart.  She had never before found herself wavering once a decision was made, yet she had never expected this.  ‘Sacrifice and dedication’?  Watching as so many begin walking away, she remembered what had brought her to this point; the Human race needed these heathens in order to survive.

Steeling herself, she stayed where she stood.  When the last of the deserters, for that was how she thought of them in her mind, when the last of them left, there were only a handful still standing before the Captain.

Nodding to those remaining, the Captain continued the briefing.

*  *  *

Homn stared at the reflection before her.  It was her, naked to the Universe.  After weeks, it was still difficult to see and she found herself looking down or away lest the Ute feel her presence and swarm for the Culling.

Her head was covered in a thin layer of fuzz; hair.  She’d never had hair before.  It was unnerving.  Her skin had taken on a slight hue under the daily imaging doses she endured at the hands of the scientists.  They assured her that it was safe in low doses, but she’d seen Rotero’s naked skin blister and belch something green and red all at the same time.  He’d screamed, too; a horrid sound gurgling forth from his throat.  Then they took him away and she had not seen him again.

Her round mammaries looked odd to her, but they told her they were necessary and adequate for the task.  Most surprising to her had been the hair growing near her sex, and the bleeding that had begun almost as soon as her Sacred L’oum had been removed.  The scientists told her that it was normal and ancient, but she did not see how this was possible.  She was leaking fluids from inside her skin - that could not be normal!

The thought made her stomach speak – another oddity without the Sacred L’oum, and something she had never known before.  Sometimes that sound meant she had to ingest something.  With her mouth. Other times, she had to expel something from… other places.  It was all so base and degrading and very inhuman.

They said and spoke and assured her that this was how the splinter Human’s lived their lives every day.  She couldn’t fathom any of it.  It was so… brutal, savage.  The stark differences between male and female offended her.  Esah and she had been set the task of standing, face to face, speaking to each other directly.  The task was difficult; they were required to look each other in the eye while speaking, no mirror-mask to protect them.  This necessitated risking soul to soul contact without reflection. During the exercise, Esah’s sex had inexplicably engorged.  They rushed both of them to separate rooms for testing and decontamination.

She could tell that the scientists had been unnerved by the entire affair.

The Rorsah came to speak with them each day after that, despite their sins and nakedness.  It was the only comfort for her at this point, knowing that what they did had been approved by the Church, that their souls were protected even if their skin were not.  An entire F’qua had been devoted to thirty-eight hour prayer just for their squad.

Just yesterday, they had told her she would be elevated to Gunny.  She was equal parts disturbed and prideful.  She knew she had to continue on.

*  *  *

“Kneel before your God,” said the Rorsah, and Gunny Homn fell to her knees.  She pressed her face to the floor, feeling the vibration as the walls of the tank slowly receded and the room filled with light and warmth.  Her skin prickled.

You have done well, Gunny Homn, said the Human God, speaking in her mind.  Euphoria spread through her body.  Yours shall be a shining example to all Human kind.  Rise, and look upon your God so that you may take me with you in your heart and spread The Message wherever you go.

Gunny Homn rose, tears streaming down her face as the God of Humanity shone brightly before her.

* * *

“You are the only one, Homn.  The only one to persevere.  Yours shall be the example for those who come after.  Are you prepared?”

Gunny Homn looked up at her own reflection in the Vice-Captain’s mirror-mask.  She saw her own excitement there, her own pride.  She would be the first, but not the last.  Unification would begin here, now.

“I am,” she replied.  She stood above the Slider.  The Honor Guard saluted her as she was lowered inside.  The seal locked her inside and the pumps began to fill it.  She breathed deeply, letting the gel fill her, become part of her.

The only indication that the Slider had been ejected, was the slight thrumming in her ears.

*  *  *

Her senses were under assault; lungs burning, eyes flaring with pain from the colors and light, ears thrumming with the beat of her own heart, deep within her chest.  She fell to her knees, palms forward, the gritty surface cutting into the exposed flesh, digging beneath her fingernails.  Back arched, she expelled the last of the gel from her lungs, then shuddered with her first burning breath.

The air was warm but sweet; she gasped repeatedly, taking in great breaths, eyes watering.  She threw herself away from the puddle of gel, rolling over on her back, eyes staring sightlessly up at the blur she assumed to be the sky.  She clutched to the dirt now, digging her fingers deeper, afraid for the first time in her life, aware that there is no ships deck beneath her, but rather a world turning that could spin her right off.

She could feel the weight of gravity pushing her down.

Her heart pounded in her ears, her breathing started to stabilize.  For the first time, she drew in a deep breath through her nose, a thousand scents assaulting her, swirling through her mind which churned trying to identify them.  Eyes beginning to clear, she saw a deep blue sky above her, the color unlike anything she had ever seen before.

The breath she’d been inhaling caught in her throat.

“…so beautiful.”

* * *

Aboard the o’Anah’N'ret, the Rorsah stood beside the Vice-Captain, watching as the Slider’s vapor trail faded beneath them.

“What we do today will change us for all time.”

The Vice-Captain nodded, purple tinged mirror-mask reflecting the blue planet’s glow.  “Perhaps she will find what we seek.”

“Perhaps,” the Rorsah agreed.  “I doubt it though.  Are the other Forerunners prepared?”

“Each o’Anah’N'ret reports ready.”

“She truly believed she was the only one…,” he shook his head.  “Tell them to proceed.”

“If we find evidence of Homeworld on these first excursions, the Universe shall truly tremble.”

“The Universe should tremble, for we are returning and all that was lost shall be taken back.”

The Vice-Captain nodded at that as well.

~End

(for now)

Make me famous:

This happens from time to time.

With that in mind, I made a trip to ye olde book seller and picked up a few things to whet the literary appetite.  I haven’t [...]]]> I’ve been feeling a little stale lately when it comes to reading. I’ve bought several books, started them and then moved on without finishing em.

This happens from time to time.

With that in mind, I made a trip to ye olde book seller and picked up a few things to whet the literary appetite.  I haven’t decided yet in which order I’ll be reading these, so here we go:

City of Jade by Dennis L. McKiernan (worst website ever).

One of my favorite authors, I was happily surprised to find this book sitting on the shelf.  I can’t remember if I knew it was out but had never bought it or if it had simply slipped under my radar – either way – it was fantastic to find it and I’m excited to return to Mithgar for another tale of Aravan, captain of the Elven ship Eroean.

Here’s the lowdown on the book:

A prophecy and a dream about a lost city made of jade draw Aravan, the captain of the Elvenship Eroean, and his life mate, the Magekind Seer Aylis, along with a crew of trusted friends, into a perilous journey in search of the mystical place.

Behind the scenes, the Necromancer Nunde, follower of a slain god and a sworn enemy of Aravan, plots the death of the elven captain and all those he holds dear.

Set in time between the end of Silver Wolf, Black Falcon, and the beginning of Red Slippers: More Tales of Mithgar, the latest addition to the series brings back familiar characters and further develops an old enmity. McKiernan’s talent for charming characters and exciting adventures of derring-do make this a good addition to most fantasy collections and an essential purchase for libraries possessing the other series titles.

Hidden Empire by Kevin J. Anderson.

I’ve been feeling that my SciFi literary muscles have been allowed to go a bit soft of late, so in an effort to exercise em, I picked up a couple of very SciFi books – this being the first of those.

I remember TheKJA from other series and I liked em, so I decided to give this a try.

Here’s the lowdown:

The Terran Hanseatic League, in a heady rush of manifest destiny, turns Oncier, a huge gas planet, into a sun so its four moons can be used for colonization. In the process, the Terrans disturb the ancient but dwindling Ildirans, their uneasy allies, whose leader, the Mage-Imperator, suspects that Terrans are far too eager to take over the spiral arm. Still worse, by inadvertently destroying Oncier’s hitherto unknown colonists, the powerful hydrogues, the conversion of Oncier sets off a catastrophic conflict that threatens the existence of all Terrans and Ildirans. The Earth Defense Forces of the Terran Hanseatic League, the Worldtrees and Green Priests of Theroc, the gypsy Roamers who mine ekti all must unite with the Ildirans to fight the alien menace.

Heck – sounds good to me.

The Magician’s Guild by Trudi Canavan.

I can’t just give up on Fantasy and I’m always on the lookout for something new in the genre, some new take on it all.  This one caught my eye so I decided to give it a try.  Hey, that rhymes.

Here’s the lowdown:

Each year, the magicians of Imardin gather together to purge the city streets of vagrants and miscreants. Masters of the disciplines of magic, they know that no ordinary lowlife can oppose them. But their protective shield is not as imprenetrable as they think.

Sonea, angry, frustrated and outraged by the treatment of her family and friends, throws a stone at the shield, putting all her rage behind it. She is amazed when it sails unrestricted through the barrier and knocks a magician unconscious.

The Guild’s worst fear has been realised . there is an untrained magician loose in Imardin who must be found before her uncontrolled powers can destroy herself and the city.

Old Man’s War by John Scalzi.

Another SciFi series to give a try.

With his wife dead and buried, and life nearly over at 75, John Perry takes the only logical course of action left him: he joins the army. Now better known as the Colonial Defense Force (CDF), Perry’s service-of-choice has extended its reach into interstellar space to pave the way for human colonization of other planets while fending off marauding aliens.

The CDF has a trick up its sleeve that makes enlistment especially enticing for seniors: the promise of restoring youth. After bonding with a group of fellow recruits who dub their clique the Old Farts, Perry finds himself in a new body crafted from his original DNA and upgraded for battle, including fast-clotting “smartblood” and a brain-implanted personal computer.

All too quickly the Old Farts are separated, and Perry fights for his life on various alien-infested battlegrounds.

Well, that’s my list.  For a little while, anyway.

I’ll let you know how it goes and what I think.

~P

Make me famous:

Not a lot.

Chuck

Chuck is back on Mondays.  I love this show.  [...]]]> Well.  Kinda looked like a promising year for SciFi and Fantasy shows, didn’t it?  Now we’ve seen a lot of shows come and go and, if you’re like me, you might be wondering what’s left out there for us to watch?

Not a lot.

Network stuff I like first:

Chuck

Chuck is back on Mondays.  I love this show.  It seems to me that they’ve amped up the comedy this year on the spyfi show.  Everybody should watch this show so we get another season.  It’s worth your time.  Luckily, it’s been doing well in the ratings thus far, so I’ve got my fingers crossed.

FlashForward

Despite having that guy I can’t stand in the main role (Joseph Fiennes as FBI guy Mark Benford), and despite some crappy scripts towards the end before the mid-season break, FlashForward still has a lot of potential.  I’m really hoping that they manage to keep it together long enough to give us a decent second half of the season and a season two of the ratings gods are kind.  With Lost ending it’s run this year, ABC will be looking at what it has or might have that could fill the void.  FlashForward could be a contender (if they amp up the writing).

Trouble is, we have to wait til March to see anything more from this show, which means any momentum they may have had has been utterly lost.

Lost

Lost is still around, but this is the last season for the show.  I have high hopes that the series will deliver a strong ending and a satisfying one.  Note that writers and producers of Lost – we want a SATISFYING ending – not that bullcrap we got from Battlestar.

Fringe

Of all the shows that have potential for greatness, Fringe is the potentialynious.  Potentiameter.  Um…

Fantastic characters; Olivia is driven, determined, she is going to figure it all out and stop the bad guys, Peter is the intelligent, some might even say dashing at times, anti-hero who seems to be growing into the role of ‘do gooder’ quite well.  He has his reasons for doing what he’s doing and we don’t really know what they all are.  Yet.  And then there’s Walter, beautiful, mega-smart, absolutely insane Walter who doesn’t have a filter on his mouth and says things that make me laugh and cringe all at the same time.

This show needs to survive because it can be great.  It can go down in the anals of tv history as one of the top genre shows.  If the writers don’t screw it all up.

Supernatural

I’m worried about the boys.  I really am.  I’ve tried to explain why I like this show in the past and I don’t think I’ve ever done it right.  In my mind, I feel like this show worked because they were sort of flipping us off.  Yeah, it’s a buddy show – but with issues.  Yeah, there’s ghosts, but they’re not your momma’s ghosts.  Shit happens.

But, lately, I feel like they haven’t been quite so irreverent, so flippant – they haven’t flipped me off in a while and I miss that.  The whole Angels/Demon war / apocalypse is taking too long.  If you have an apocalypse, they generally don’t stretch out long enough for people to go for pie, if you know what I mean.  Step it up, boys.  I want an ‘oh shit’ scene like Angel stepping off the elevator in LA to learn that the apocalypse has already happened, it’s here, it’s now – fight it or bend over.

V

I don’t know why I have this on the list.  It doesn’t deserve to be on the list at this point.  They gave us 4 friggin episodes – 4! and then they took the damned thing off the air where it has remained.  It’s being ‘retooled’ or ‘rebooted’ or whatever the hell they call it today in lala land.  I reserve the right to hate it just because dumbass people are involved behind the scenes.

What I don’t like / won’t watch on the networks:

Heroes

Jumped the shark.  Lost the Force.  Got it’s Mojo stolen.

Smallville

I’m surprised this is still on the air simply because the actors aren’t 13 anymore, and the CW likes it’s shows with 13 year olds.  I am going to watch the Justice Society episode because I want to see how badly they screw it up.

The Vampire Diaries

NO. Just… no.

Cable Stuff

Stargate: Universe

The channel formerly known as SciFi knows how to do one thing really, really well: annoy us.

I absolutely friggin HATE the way they do their ’seasons’.  I swear they shoot themselves in the foot with this ‘1.0′ ‘1.5′ ‘2.0′ ‘.5 and three quarters’ season crapola.  Just when the show starts to get good, they break.  They’ll bring back 5 new episodes or some such shit later on this year, then break again, then bring a couple more – it’s moranic.  I hate it.

Did I mention that I hate it?

The show itself was great! I’d love to see more episodes! And maybe, just maybe, sometime in 2010, I will.  After they repeat the first few twenty seven times.

Warehouse 13

See above ‘Stargate: Universe’.

Eureka

(points to the two shows above)

What I don’t like / won’t watch on cable:

Sanctuary

I’ll comment now.  Oh, still see my rant above, but let me add: I really liked the 1st season of this show  It was new and different, had a decent backstory/mythology and I dug it.  2nd season – not so much.  I don’t know what happened, I don’t know if they fired some people or got some ‘notes’ from the network or what – but whatever it is, has really hurt this show in it’s 2nd season, so much so that I haven’t watched the last few episodes because I don’t want to put myself through that misery.

Caprica.

Unless someone very eloquent can talk me into it, I am not interested in this.  And I admit – part of me is afraid that I might like it a little and then the channel formerly known as SciFi will rape my up the  butt by screwing it up.

Syndication

Legend of the Seeker

What can I say? Hmmm.  In order to watch this show, I have to forget that the books exist.  It’s the only way.  If I do that, if I consider it a stand alone piece that has nothing whatsoever to do with the novels as written by Terry Goodkind, then, and only then, can I allow myself to enjoy it.

Sad, but true.

That’s what’s left out there that I see or want to comment on.  There’s some other stuff, but not on my radar at the moment.

Thoughts?  What are you watching?

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When Lost first hit the airwaves, I thought for sure it was going to be stupid.  I had visions of people running around making coconut radios and concocting impossible silly schemes for rescue.  Yes.  I’m saying that I thought it was going to be a modern day Giligan’s Island.

Boy, I could not have been more [...]]]> So.

When Lost first hit the airwaves, I thought for sure it was going to be stupid.  I had visions of people running around making coconut radios and concocting impossible silly schemes for rescue.  Yes.  I’m saying that I thought it was going to be a modern day Giligan’s Island.

Boy, I could not have been more wrong.

Unfortunately (or, fortunately, depending on your point of view (thank you very much, Obi-Wan)), I only watched the 1st season, and not any of the subsequent seasons.  This was due to a lot of things.

The World of Warcraft. I was heavy into this at the time, I mean really, really heavy.  Played every night after work for hours, played on weekends – you name it, I was playing.

Self-imposed television hiatus. I decided I was watching too much of the old boob tube and needed to break from it.  I picked a handful of shows – like 4, to watch every week and that was it.  When one of those shows was on, the tv was on, but other than that, the tv was off.  Lost wasn’t on the list.

Writing again.  I’d started writing again – simple enough.  I was inspired by several things, so I wanted to write and I didn’t want to be distracted by tv.

Anyway, with the final season of Lost looming, I’d been thinking that now might be a good time to get caught up on the series.

As is my habit, I’ve been watching for the Lost DVD’s to come down in price for quite some time.  I enjoy buying a full season of a show and watching as many or as few episodes as I want when I want.  Honestly, if I could get new shows on demand I would (not 1 episode at a time – 1 SEASON at a time) because I just prefer it.  Unfortunately for me, the more popular the show, the less likely that show’s DVD’s will be reasonably priced.

I consider $20-30 for a full season of a show (22-24 episodes) to be reasonable.  I will wait out a show for those prices to drop, and that’s what I’ve been doing with Lost.  But Lost hasn’t been coming down – at least not at the retailers (the instant gratification monster inside of me hates waiting for mail orders to come) that I frequent.

Then, along comes Netflix.  I tried it as a lark, really.  Moved into the new house, I don’t know yet where I am going to put my DVD collection, nor my books, for that matter, so I haven’t setup any book shelves or the curio cabinet I have for DVD’s.  So when I wanted something to watch, I tried Netflix and found Lost on there.  I’ve been slowly streaming episodes ever since, direct to my tv thanks to TiVo.

So, what do I think?

I think they’ve done an excellent job with the show.  It’s better than I thought it would ever be, obviously.  I like that the island isn’t just an island, and it keeps throwing them (and us, as viewers), curve balls.

After the 1st season, I was firmly entrenched in the belief that there were 3 factions: survivors, Others & Monsters.  Since then, we’ve learned that there’s the Dharma Initiative, and this British guy, and these other people, and divisions within the Survivors, and divisions within the Others and the island itself has divisions.  It’s all very complex, but not so much that you can’t follow it and enjoy it.

I was upset (as I’m sure many others were) when Kate apparently chose Sawyer.  Then I was happy that Jack and Kate looked like they were going to get it together only for Jack to screw it all up (at which point I groaned).  When some people got off the island, it was bittersweet.  When people started flashing back and forth in time, I was just as confused as I was mesmerized.

Questions I’d like to see get answers:

Who or what is Jaycob?

Why did Claire just walk away from her son?

Who or what is Richard Alpert?  How old is he?

Why was Jack’s dad’s coffin empty?  Why is he walking around talking to people?

Why was Locke’s coffin occupied when he is up and around walking and talking to people?  What’s the difference here?

Just a few questions I have.  I’m sure there’s more I haven’t thought of.  Yet.

I think the writers do a fantastic job with this show and the actors give it their all.  I’m impressed and looking forward to this final season, and that’s what scares the living hell out of me.

You see, I was just as impressed and enamored with the writers, producers & actors involved with Battlestar Galactica.

…and look what that got me in the end.

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I think it’s sort of a staple of the genre now.  If you’re going to have a futuristic/scifi [...]]]> If, like me, you’re an avid watcher of tv and movies, and a reader of books, you may have noticed a trend towards the disastrous future.  Apocalypse is in and in big.  I mean, it’s everywhere we look.

I think it’s sort of a staple of the genre now.  If you’re going to have a futuristic/scifi story, it damned well better show us how badly we, as a species, have screwed everything up.  Right now at theaters around the country, we have ‘The Book of Eli’, a post-apocalyptic tale of the future.  On TV we have ‘Dollhouse’ that depicts (in Epitaph One and supposedly, Epitaph Two airing this week), a future where science and technology have caused an apocalypse and the overall destruction of all civilization as we know it.

It’s the end all be all of trends.

So I ask you – where has the positive future gone?

In Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek (rebooted last summer and done so quite successfully), we have a future where yes, bad stuff happened and we humans were the cause, but we’ve moved passed that and are now soaring through the stars exploring strange new worlds and all that jazz.  Kinda positive, right?  But it’s the exception to the rule anymore.  I mean, look at what we’ve seen from Hollywood in the past few years:

Jericho

Post apocalypse America where the folks of a small town struggle to survive after nuclear bomb s have destroyed civilization as we know it.

The City of Ember

Based on the Young Adult novels of Jeanne DuPrau, The City of Ember shows a world that was torn by war, so they built a city underground for protection.

The Road

Another post-apocalyptic tale – this one about a father and his young son across a landscape blasted by an unnamed cataclysm that destroyed all civilization and, apparently, almost all life on earth.

Jeremiah

This series takes place in a post-apocalyptic future where most of the adult population has been wiped out by a deadly virus.

I mean, the list goes on and on.

So I ask you again – where has the positive gone?

Are we done with the feel good adventure tale?  With the bright, shining future of the human race, all full of potential and excitement?

What do you think?

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Google’s Nexus One phone sparks flood of complaints.

Just eight days after Google opened its online store to sell the new Nexus One smartphone directly to customers, its support forums have been overloaded with complaints [...]]]> Actually spent a little time this evening going through my Google Reader and looking for interesting things to share.

Technology / Science News

Google’s Nexus One phone sparks flood of complaints.

Just eight days after Google opened its online store to sell the new Nexus One smartphone directly to customers, its support forums have been overloaded with complaints on a variety of issues. They stem from coverage and delivery problems, network compatibility, dropped calls and operation woes.

Malware: Android Apps Threaten Mobile Security

Google’s Android Market relies on customers to flag dodgy apps, leaving businesses and other customers’ smartphones open to attack by rogue apps until Google acts, sometimes days later.

Malware banking apps have already been removed from the Android Market, where it seems anyone can post what purports to be a banking application.

The future is here and it’s a damned freaky/scary sex robot (…just, ewwwwww)

At the other trade show in Vegas last week, the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, a company called True Companion threw a coming-out party for Roxxxy, a 5-foot 7-inch, fully functional rubberized “girlfriend” with a personality, of sorts.

Astronaut pee clogs the space station – I can only assume they’re drinking Mellow Yellow and not Mt Dew…

Engineers trouble-shooting a problem with the station’s $250 million water recycling system, which processes urine into clean water for drinking, believe the cause is a high concentration of calcium in the astronauts’ urine, which clogs the system.

The Phoenix Mars Lander may have survived the Martian winter (but not really).

Nasa’s Mars Odyssey orbiter is set to listen for possible radio transmissions from the Phoenix Mars lander, to check if it has survived the Martian winter.

AAAAIIIIGGGHHH!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIIIIEEEE!  IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!! HOLLYWOOD CALLED IT – IT’S A DANED ASTEROID AND IT”S GOING TO KEEEEEELLLLL US ALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A weird object that left some observers wondering if it was a piece of space junk is most likely just a small asteroid, and will zoom close by Earth Wednesday, NASA scientists say. It may be visible to seasoned amateur astronomers as it passes harmlessly by the planet.

Oh.  Well.  Never mind then.

Scifi

Star Trek Online enters open beta

The open beta of Star Trek Online begins today and runs through January 26th, a week before the February 2nd launch date.

The channel formerly known as ‘SciFi’ Presents Marathon of 1960s Sci-Fi Cult Classic, The Invaders Monday, January 18

(The former SciFi Channel) is bringing back the 1960s sci-fi cult classic, The Invaders, for a special 11-episode marathon on Monday, January 18, from 8AM-7PM (ET/PT). The series, which starred Roy Thinnes — who claimed to have seen a UFO during the filming of the series — ran for two seasons on ABC from 1967-68.

Weird artist re-creates famous sci-fi scenes—with face paint!

Lucky Batman! All he had to deal with was Two-Face. Who knows whether he’d have been able to handle James Kuhn, a wacky artist with hundreds of faces. Kuhn loves painting his face so much that one day he decided he’d do it up differently every day for a year—and when that wasn’t enough, he did it all over again!

Firefly to live on FOREVER! FOREVER I TELL YOU!  BROWNCOATS REPRESENT!

Joss Whedon’s beloved Firefly/Serenity is long gone, but you can’t stop the signal: Fans can look for more adventures of Capt. Mal Reynolds and the crew of the doughty ship in a series of short stories coming soon from Titan Books.

Oh. Yeah. That too.

I’m done.

~P

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The whole first half.  It was horribly paced.  I felt that [...]]]> As much as I love Doctor Who, and even though I just pointed out that it’s the best SciFi show on tv, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out some of the problems that I had with Doctor Who: The End of Time.

The whole first half.  It was horribly paced.  I felt that the Doctor running away from the summons of the Ood was spot on Doctor; of course he’s going to run away – that’s how this whole series began.  But then it was very choppy, up bits and down bits and slow bits and slower bits – the pacing was very bad.  The Master’s rebirth was, in fact, quite silly.  The whole Nasmith character was a throw away with no real purpose except to offer a thing to be dealt with.

Wilf and the Doctor have chips.  While this was a poignant moment and arguably one of my favorites in either part of the specials, it was wholly out of place.  The Doctor is looking for The Master; he finds him, chases him, almost catches him and then Wilf shows up and they go for chips?

6 billion+ Masters wouldn’t take orders.  I’m sorry, but they wouldn’t.  If you had a planet full of people who were exact copies of The Master, they would, each and everyone, be wanting to do their own thing and take over.  It would be chaos.  They would not, in fact, work together like good little soldiers.

Locked away in time doesn’t REALLY mean locked away in time.  There was a time war, the time war to end all time wars.  The Doctor and The Master both fought in it on the side of the Time Lords of Galifrey.  But something happened and The Doctor locked it all away, sealed them away where the war could no longer hurt the whole of time and space.

But locked doesn’t REALLY mean locked.  In the second part of The End of Time, we see the TIme Lords BEFORE they’re locked away.  Ok, this makes some sense.  They know that something is up and they’re trying to do something about it.  But later, they’re actually locked away and yet they are still able to do things OUTSIDE, like implant the drums in The Master’s mind as a child, toss that diamond at Earth…  SO, locked isn’t really locked?

PLUS, there’s the old woman who is visiting Wilf.  (I still contend that she was Romana.  We may never know for sure.  But if Rassillon can be the President now, why can’t Romana, who was President, be the one trying to warn The Doctor?)  She somehow manages to contact Wilf several times, despite being ‘locked away’.  So, that whole thing made me go ‘hmmm.’.

Lastly, I wanted to throw out there something that I really liked -  that The Doctor had time; time to visit his ‘children of time’, to save them all one last time, or to just see them.  The bit with Rose was nice, as was him setting Jack up with a rebound guy.  But I have trouble with Mickey & Martha.  I’d have to see more of that tale in order to buy it.

Which leads me to a question; when the 9th Doctor left, the 10th Doctor picked right up and continued to have the same supporting characters around him and even grew that family as time went on.  Will the 11th Doctor make a clean break?  Or will we see familiar faces show up again?

Given the trailer for the new series, we will at least be seeing some of the same aliens again, and at least one familiar face.

I suppose only time will tell…

~P

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