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(Where it all began) About Me & Resume Tales from The New Universe (Free Fiction) Find Me Socially |
Shadow: “I’m telling you – we have to do something!” Me: “About?” “THE MONSTER IN THE HOUSE? Where the hell have you been?” “I don’t think he’s the monster you think he is. Have you tried talking to him?” “You don’t talk to monsters. You slay them.” “Where did you hear that?” “Those shows you watch with the girl who goes [...] Make me famous:
             I cleaned out my iPhone last night, purging all music from it and starting over. I felt like I’d been in a rut musically lately and needed to change things up. It was almost a traumatic experience to hit that delete button. Part of me wishes they made an MP3 player that could hold my [...] Make me famous:
“I can’t believe you brought a MONSTER into my house?” “Technically, he’s not a monster and it’s not your house, it’s m-” “Without even asking me?!” *paces back and forth on the keyboard* “Okay, okay – it’s going to be okay. We can get through this.” “Right.” “I just need to show him who the boss is around here, [...] Make me famous:
/begin random thoughts Every time I type ‘functional nerds’, I leave out the ‘c’ and have to fix it. Every time I type @johnanealio, I add an extra ‘n’ and have to fix it as well. Sometimes, I don’t catch either mistake as I’m in a hurry… * * * The other night, both cats were asleep on the couch. [...] Make me famous:
a short time ago in a house not so far away from here… “Well. It’s about fucking time. Where have you been?” “I have been to the Stupid Friends Guild – remember them? They used to take care of you-” “Whatever. Don’t let it happen again. I want my dinner on the table promptly at-wait, what the fuck [...] Make me famous:
“Hi!” *groan* “…aw, come on. What time is it?” “I don’t know – listen, I need you to do something for me.” “No! The sun isn’t up yet! That means I’m supposed to be sleeping not doing stuff for you!” “Well, to be honest, it’s half for me half for you.” “No! I want to go back to sleep!” “Fine, but [...] Make me famous:
*barf* “AWWWWW! DUDE! ON THE CARPET?! WHY?” “I didn’t want to get it on the wood floor – that would be gross! Now, clean it up. I’m gonna go nap in a sunbeam.” “. . .” Make me famous: Make me famous:
“Hey! The closet door is closed. I need to get in there.” “The closet door is closed because SOMEONE keeps going in there, trying to climb as high as possible, and knocking shit over. Not to mention he uses my clothes as a sort of ladder for claws, so I have all these little holes in [...] Make me famous:
*last night* “…look, I know we talk about a lot of stuff, but I have to say – this is the weirdest thing you have ever, ever done.” *muffled noises* “What?” *muffled noises* “What?!” *muffled noises* *Pulls covers back on bed to reveal the cat curled up by his feet* “I SAID IT’S DAMNED COLD SO SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!” “…oh, okay.” Make [...] Make me famous:
“Hey! Where’s my water?” “I have to clean it. I don’t understand how it gets so… slimy, week to week. It’s gross.” “I want water.” “I know – give me a sec, almost done. Getting it nice and clean for you.” “But, I want water now.” “I know! I’m almost done.” “But, ‘almost’ isn’t ‘now’. I want water now.” “Just another second, [...] Make me famous:
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