Tag Archive for cat

Conversations with my cat

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“HOLY FUCK!” “um…” ‘WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?” “I… uh… Well, I went to a movie…” “A MOVIE? A -MOVIE-?! AND WHAT – LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE ALL NIGHT?” “Yeah…” “YOU BASTARD!” “Look…” “NO NO – YOU LOOK –…

Conversations with my cat

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“MEOW!” *jumps* “..what the?” *groans* “It’s still dark out!” “OH HEY! You’re awake – GREAT!” “No, not great – I need to sleep.” “No, you need to feed me.” “You have food in your dish. Leave me alone.” “No, no…

Conversations with my cat

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“WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!” “I bought a house and moved us.” “WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU WARN ME?” “I told you several times we were moving.” ‘WHEN?! WHEN DID YOU EVER TELL ME THAT WE WERE MOVING?!” “Well,…

Conversations with my cat

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“MEOW!” *wakes up with a cat in his face* “Oh GOOD!  You’re awake.  Look, I’ve been thinking…” *groan* “What time is it?” “Time?  What’s that?” “As in the digits on a clock?”  *looks-groans again* “It’s 3 am!” “Whatever – listen,…

Conversations with my cat

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“Okay – tell me something…” *stretched out on the bed* “What’s that?” “How is it that you have maybe 1% of the total mass of this bed-” “Yeah?” “-and yet, when you’re stretched out on it there’s no room for…

Conversations with my cat

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“omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!” “What?” *runs to the backporch window sill* “omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!” “WHAT?!” “BIRDS!” *laughs* “Yeah – they come out when it’s nice outside.” *pacing back and forth* “gottagetemgottagetemgottagetemgottagetemgottagetemgottagetemgottagetem!” “What would you do if you caught one?” *pauses* “SHUT UP AND QUIT CONFUSING…

Conversations with my cat

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“Dude! What’s wrong?” “I hurt my back.” “Seriously? How’d you do that?” “I’m not sure. I think I twisted when I shouldn’t have. Now it hurts to breathe.” “Whoa! Dude! That’s not good! We need to breathe!” “I know. Sometimes,…

Conversations with my cat

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“Who’s a kitty cat?” “Go away.” *Walks over to the window sill* “‘oos a kitty!” “I’m warning you – go away!” *scratches ears* “‘ooos a widdle kitty cat!” “Stop it!” *scratches ears, back, tugs on tail* “He’s a widdle kitty…

Conversations with my cat

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“Your claws are getting long. You should let me trim them.” “Talons.” “What?” “Talons, not ‘claws’ and no you can’t trim them. I need them for stuff.” “Like what?” “Putting holes in your blanket. Killing the evil backside of the…

Conversations with my cat

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*lying on his back, legs in the air, head back, purring* “You sure are enjoying this.” *continues to rub tummy, rub back, scratch ears* *PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR* “hee-hee. This is putting you in a good mood.” *Turns, suddenly, bites down on the…