All Things From My Brain » cat http://www.atfmb.com Patrick Hester's Blog Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:59:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 All Things From My Brain is the podcast from aspiring author Patrick Hester. Proud to be described as a functional nerd, Patrick's blog and this podcast reflect his take on just about anything that comes into his brain from day to day. From comics to movies to television and video games, comics, books, technology and pop culture - you name it, he talks about it. He brings his own quirky / dark sense of humor and point of view to every topic he decides to cover. Check back weekly for new episodes and don't be afraid to tell your friends all about us! Patrick Hester no Patrick Hester patrick@thenewuniverse.com patrick@thenewuniverse.com (Patrick Hester) Patrick Hester All Rightss Reserved by Patrick Hester mac, pc, scifi, geek, tv, comic books, satire, nerd, fantasy, review, author, technology All Things From My Brain » cat http://www.atfmb.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/rss_default.jpg http://www.atfmb.com Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/22/conversations-with-my-cat-44/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/22/conversations-with-my-cat-44/#comments Thu, 22 Jul 2010 18:00:15 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2981 Shadow: “I’m telling you – we have to do something!”

Me: “About?”

“THE MONSTER IN THE HOUSE? Where the hell have you been?”

“I don’t think he’s the monster you think he is.  Have you tried talking to him?”

“You don’t talk to monsters.  You slay them.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Those shows you watch with the girl who goes [...]]]> Shadow: “I’m telling you – we have to do something!”

Me: “About?”

“THE MONSTER IN THE HOUSE? Where the hell have you been?”

“I don’t think he’s the monster you think he is.  Have you tried talking to him?”

“You don’t talk to monsters.  You slay them.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Those shows you watch with the girl who goes around killing monsters. DUH!”

“Right.  Listen, you two need to get along so-” *picks him up*

“Hey!  HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT ME DOWN, FUCKER!*

“Calm down!  This is for your own good!” *tosses him down on the comfy chair next to Dakota*

Dakota: “Bwohaha.  Han, ma bookie, keel-ee calleya ku kah.”

Shadow: “AIIIIIGGGHHHHH!”

Dakota: “Bwohahaha.”

Sigh.

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/22/conversations-with-my-cat-44/feed/ 0 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/08/conversations-with-my-cat-43/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/08/conversations-with-my-cat-43/#comments Thu, 08 Jul 2010 18:00:45 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2887 “I can’t believe you brought a MONSTER into my house?”

“Technically, he’s not a monster and it’s not your house, it’s m-”

“Without even asking me?!” *paces back and forth on the keyboard* “Okay, okay – it’s going to be okay.  We can get through this.”

“Right.”

“I just need to show him who the boss is around here, [...]]]> “I can’t believe you brought a MONSTER into my house?”

“Technically, he’s not a monster and it’s not your house, it’s m-”

“Without even asking me?!” *paces back and forth on the keyboard* “Okay, okay – it’s going to be okay.  We can get through this.”

“Right.”

“I just need to show him who the boss is around here, that’s all.” *continues pacing*

“Right.”

“He’s not so tough.” *pauses* “It’s just a haircut, that’s all.  He’s not really a.. a…”

“Lion?”

“WHERE?! DID HE SEE ME?  AIIIIGGGHHH!  HIDE ME!” *tries to climb the walls*

“Oh, yeah, you’re gonna show him who’s boss all right.”

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/08/conversations-with-my-cat-43/feed/ 0 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/01/conversations-with-my-cat-42/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/01/conversations-with-my-cat-42/#comments Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:00:25 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2885 a short time ago in a house not so far away from here…

“Well. It’s about fucking time. Where have you been?”

“I have been to the Stupid Friends Guild – remember them? They used to take care of you-”

“Whatever. Don’t let it happen again. I want my dinner on the table promptly at-wait, what the fuck [...]]]> a short time ago in a house not so far away from here…

“Well. It’s about fucking time. Where have you been?”

“I have been to the Stupid Friends Guild – remember them? They used to take care of you-”

“Whatever. Don’t let it happen again. I want my dinner on the table promptly at-wait, what the fuck is that?”

“This, is a cat carrier.”

“Cat carrier?” *eyes narrow*

“That’s right.  A cat carrier.  And right now, it is carrying your new best friend!  Shadow, I’d like you to meet: Dakota!” *sets cat carrier down, opens door – a cat easily twice the size of Shadow waddles out, hair cut to look like a lions mane and paws*

Dakota: “Hello!  So. This is my new kingdom, eh?  No sun-rock to lounge on?  Ah well, I’ll make do I suppose.”

Shadow: *eyes wide, jaw on the floor*

Dakota: “And who might you be?”

Shadow: *screams* *runs to the stairs, turns around*

“Um….”

Shadow: *screams – races up to the landing, looks through the rails*

Dakota: *laughs* “Skittish little thing, aren’t you?”

Shadow: *screams – runs and hides*

“Oh boy. This isn’t going exactly the way I’d planned…”

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/07/01/conversations-with-my-cat-42/feed/ 5 Random thoughts for June 29, 2010 http://www.atfmb.com/2010/06/29/random-thoughts-for-june-29-2010/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/06/29/random-thoughts-for-june-29-2010/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 18:00:37 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2879 /begin random thoughts

The balance between work and not work is always a tricky one. You have to work in order to succeed (sorry if I just burst a bubble there for you – it really is true. Promise). You have to enjoy your work or you won’t do it well and, therefore, won’t [...]]]> /begin random thoughts

The balance between work and not work is always a tricky one. You have to work in order to succeed (sorry if I just burst a bubble there for you – it really is true. Promise). You have to enjoy your work or you won’t do it well and, therefore, won’t succeed.

If you want to be a published author, which I do, you have to work at it and you have to enjoy it. When your day job brings you down, it can be hard to get yourself into the right frame of mind to work on the writing – but you HAVE to.

There are so many things in the world to distract us each and every day, we can’t let the day job become one of them. It is easily the most time consuming part of your day and, therefore, it has the most potential to overwhelm. It’s also what pays the bills so you can pursue the dream.

Balance. I can’t explain how to do it because everyone is unique, but it’s something we all have to think about.

* * *

We become conditioned to certain things, we fall into routines. Routines aren’t necessarily bad things, but I like to shake them up whenever I can. Keeps things fresh and interesting.

I don’t have the ‘home office / writing space’ I’ve always wanted – not yet. (I’m working on that) So I tend to change up where I write. My bedroom is on the 2nd floor, poorly insulated (I am assuming this, I don’t know for sure) and, therefore, cold in the winter, hot in the summer. Constantly being aware of the temperature of the room can be a whole new and different kind of distracting. So can climbing the stairs back and forth to futz with the thermostat.

So I’ve been writing on the couch, in the comfy chair, at the kitchen table, on the back porch – anywhere, really, where I can stop being distracted and focus on the task at hand. Writing.

* * *

It never ceases to amaze me when someone is resistant to new(ish) technologies or when I am confronted with someone who has their feet firmly planted in the past (and by ‘past’, I could mean fifty years or just ten).

I recently encountered someone who, though they use computers, they do not go too far in embracing them. Nor do they necessarily embrace all the smart phones, cell phones, etc and so on. I can live with some of that, but the rest blows me away.

I haven’t had a land line in a long time. By ‘land line’ I mean, of course, a phone plugged into the wall of your home or office. I was trying to think back to when I last had such a line (never an easy feat for me, my memory for certain things can be horrid) and I came up with a 2000 / 2001 sort of time frame. I remember having a phone at home primarily for work, even had an answering machine and a fax on it, but mostly I was on the road at the time and using a cell phone heavily (Nokia, black, AT&T service – see, I remember that no problem! Sigh.).

I later switched to Sprint for their Palm phone and dropped the land line soon after because I had an ephinany wherein I thought to myself, “Why am I paying for two phones when I really only need the one I carry with me all the time?” Plus, I’d switched to eFax by then.

Haven’t had a land line since.

So when confronted with someone who is sort of the opposite of that, I have to pause and take a breath.

To throw you a curve ball on this thought – I miss having a typewriter.

* * *

I really wanted a second cat in the house because I wanted to provide a distraction for Shadow, my beloved cat who drives me up a wall on a nightly basis. I cleverly decided to hit two birds with one stone (I am suddenly realizing how violent a phrase that is) and have the second cat be a companion / gift for my mother who, as any regular reader to the blog or the twitter feed is aware, had to move in with me a few years ago.

Not a bad plan, if I do say so myself.

What I didn’t plan on, was Dakota. Dakota is 11 years old, he’s overweight and a complete and total attention grabbing hog.

Everywhere you sit, he sits. Example:

*sit down on the couch. Dakota looks up from wherever he’s been sleeping. Stands. Waddle-waddle-waddle* Merr? *jump in lap* Merr? *nudge hand with nose* Merrrr?

Sigh.

This has made writing on the couch or the comfy chair, of late, difficult (hence the kitchen table move).

Also, he doesn’t want to play with Shadow the way I’d hoped he would. It’s more of a ‘get away from me you heathen child I want no part in your tomfoolery!’ sort of relationship that almost always, and quite quickly, devolves into a fight for supremacy.

I pray for a mellowing or, at the least, some sort of armistice soon.

/end random thoughts

~P

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/06/29/random-thoughts-for-june-29-2010/feed/ 2 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/24/conversations-with-my-cat-41/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/24/conversations-with-my-cat-41/#comments Sat, 24 Apr 2010 19:30:37 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2485 “Hi!”

*groan* “…aw, come on. What time is it?”

“I don’t know – listen, I need you to do something for me.”

“No! The sun isn’t up yet! That means I’m supposed to be sleeping not doing stuff for you!”

“Well, to be honest, it’s half for me half for you.”

“No!  I want to go back to sleep!”

“Fine, but [...]]]> “Hi!”

*groan* “…aw, come on. What time is it?”

“I don’t know – listen, I need you to do something for me.”

“No! The sun isn’t up yet! That means I’m supposed to be sleeping not doing stuff for you!”

“Well, to be honest, it’s half for me half for you.”

“No!  I want to go back to sleep!”

“Fine, but don’t bitch at me if you roll over into this puke.”

“WHAT? AWWW! DUDE! SICK! WHY?”

“I know you don’t like it when I puke on the carpet, so… Surprise!  I helped!”

“STOP HELPING ME!”

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/24/conversations-with-my-cat-41/feed/ 1 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/22/conversations-with-my-cat-40/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/22/conversations-with-my-cat-40/#comments Thu, 22 Apr 2010 19:30:03 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2483 *barf*

“AWWWWW! DUDE! ON THE CARPET?! WHY?”

“I didn’t want to get it on the wood floor – that would be gross! Now, clean it up. I’m gonna go nap in a sunbeam.”

“. . .”

Make me famous: ]]> *barf*

“AWWWWW! DUDE! ON THE CARPET?! WHY?”

“I didn’t want to get it on the wood floor – that would be gross! Now, clean it up. I’m gonna go nap in a sunbeam.”

“. . .”

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/22/conversations-with-my-cat-40/feed/ 0 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/17/conversations-with-my-cat-39/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/17/conversations-with-my-cat-39/#comments Sat, 17 Apr 2010 19:30:19 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2481 “Hey! The closet door is closed. I need to get in there.”

“The closet door is closed because SOMEONE keeps going in there, trying to climb as high as possible, and knocking shit over. Not to mention he uses my clothes as a sort of ladder for claws, so I have all these little holes in [...]]]> “Hey! The closet door is closed. I need to get in there.”

“The closet door is closed because SOMEONE keeps going in there, trying to climb as high as possible, and knocking shit over. Not to mention he uses my clothes as a sort of ladder for claws, so I have all these little holes in my shirts.”

“Well. if you open the closet door, I’ll protect your clothes from that asshole!”

“. . .”

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/17/conversations-with-my-cat-39/feed/ 0 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/15/conversations-with-my-cat-38/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/15/conversations-with-my-cat-38/#comments Thu, 15 Apr 2010 19:30:45 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2400 *last night*

“…look, I know we talk about a lot of stuff, but I have to say – this is the weirdest thing you have ever, ever done.”

*muffled noises*

“What?”

*muffled noises*

“What?!”

*muffled noises*

*Pulls covers back on bed to reveal the cat curled up by his feet*

“I SAID IT’S DAMNED COLD SO SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!”

“…oh, okay.”

Make [...]]]> *last night*

“…look, I know we talk about a lot of stuff, but I have to say – this is the weirdest thing you have ever, ever done.”

*muffled noises*

“What?”

*muffled noises*

“What?!”

*muffled noises*

*Pulls covers back on bed to reveal the cat curled up by his feet*

“I SAID IT’S DAMNED COLD SO SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!”

“…oh, okay.”

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/15/conversations-with-my-cat-38/feed/ 1 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/10/conversations-with-my-cat-37/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/10/conversations-with-my-cat-37/#comments Sat, 10 Apr 2010 19:30:31 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2398 “Hey! Where’s my water?”

“I have to clean it.  I don’t understand how it gets so… slimy, week to week.  It’s gross.”

“I want water.”

“I know – give me a sec, almost done.  Getting it nice and clean for you.”

“But, I want water now.”

“I know!  I’m almost done.”

“But, ‘almost’ isn’t ‘now’.  I want water now.”

“Just another second, [...]]]> “Hey! Where’s my water?”

“I have to clean it.  I don’t understand how it gets so… slimy, week to week.  It’s gross.”

“I want water.”

“I know – give me a sec, almost done.  Getting it nice and clean for you.”

“But, I want water now.”

“I know!  I’m almost done.”

“But, ‘almost’ isn’t ‘now’.  I want water now.”

“Just another second, need to dry it off and fill it up.”

“But, I want it now.”

“All right, all right!  Geez!”  *dries it off, fills it with clean water, sets it down*

*sniffs* “Eh.  I’ll have some later.”

“But, you said you wanted it now!”

“That was before.  You took to long.  You should try harder.”

*wets fingers* “…boy, have I got some water for you!” *flicks*

]]> http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/10/conversations-with-my-cat-37/feed/ 1 Conversations with my cat http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/08/conversations-with-my-cat-36/ http://www.atfmb.com/2010/04/08/conversations-with-my-cat-36/#comments Thu, 08 Apr 2010 19:30:41 +0000 Patrick Hester http://www.atfmb.com/?p=2395 'The Bird'

5:45 am.

*purr* *CHOMP!*

“OW!  WHAT THE FUCK?! OW!”

“What’s wrong?”

“DID YOU JUST BITE MY NOSE?!”

“Pffft!  That doesn’t sound like something I would do.”

“OH MY GOD YOU DID – YOU BIT MY FUCKING NOSE!  OH MY GOD!”

“You are so totally overreacting!”

“HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO REACT TO BEING WOKEN UP BY HAVING YOUR NOSE BITTEN?!”

“Well, now [...]]]>

'The Bird'

5:45 am.

*purr* *CHOMP!*

“OW!  WHAT THE FUCK?! OW!”

“What’s wrong?”

“DID YOU JUST BITE MY NOSE?!”

“Pffft!  That doesn’t sound like something I would do.”

“OH MY GOD YOU DID – YOU BIT MY FUCKING NOSE!  OH MY GOD!”

“You are so totally overreacting!”

“HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO REACT TO BEING WOKEN UP BY HAVING YOUR NOSE BITTEN?!”

“Well, now that you’re up we could play.  The bird’s in the other room looking like it’s planning something…  We should get on that…”

“. . .”

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