My Google Feed



Conversations with my cat

Shadow: “I’m telling you – we have to do something!”

Me: “About?”

“THE MONSTER IN THE HOUSE? Where the hell have you been?”

“I don’t think he’s the monster you think he is.  Have you tried talking to him?”

“You don’t talk to monsters.  You slay them.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Those shows you watch with the girl who goes [...]

Conversations with my cat

“I can’t believe you brought a MONSTER into my house?”

“Technically, he’s not a monster and it’s not your house, it’s m-”

“Without even asking me?!” *paces back and forth on the keyboard* “Okay, okay – it’s going to be okay.  We can get through this.”

“Right.”

“I just need to show him who the boss is around here, [...]

Conversations with my cat

a short time ago in a house not so far away from here…

“Well. It’s about fucking time. Where have you been?”

“I have been to the Stupid Friends Guild – remember them? They used to take care of you-”

“Whatever. Don’t let it happen again. I want my dinner on the table promptly at-wait, what the fuck [...]

Random thoughts for June 29, 2010

/begin random thoughts

The balance between work and not work is always a tricky one. You have to work in order to succeed (sorry if I just burst a bubble there for you – it really is true. Promise). You have to enjoy your work or you won’t do it well and, therefore, won’t [...]

Conversations with my cat

“Hi!”

*groan* “…aw, come on. What time is it?”

“I don’t know – listen, I need you to do something for me.”

“No! The sun isn’t up yet! That means I’m supposed to be sleeping not doing stuff for you!”

“Well, to be honest, it’s half for me half for you.”

“No!  I want to go back to sleep!”

“Fine, but [...]

Conversations with my cat

*barf*

“AWWWWW! DUDE! ON THE CARPET?! WHY?”

“I didn’t want to get it on the wood floor – that would be gross! Now, clean it up. I’m gonna go nap in a sunbeam.”

“. . .”

Make me famous:

Conversations with my cat

“Hey! The closet door is closed. I need to get in there.”

“The closet door is closed because SOMEONE keeps going in there, trying to climb as high as possible, and knocking shit over. Not to mention he uses my clothes as a sort of ladder for claws, so I have all these little holes in [...]

Conversations with my cat

*last night*

“…look, I know we talk about a lot of stuff, but I have to say – this is the weirdest thing you have ever, ever done.”

*muffled noises*

“What?”

*muffled noises*

“What?!”

*muffled noises*

*Pulls covers back on bed to reveal the cat curled up by his feet*

“I SAID IT’S DAMNED COLD SO SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!”

“…oh, okay.”

Make [...]

Conversations with my cat

“Hey! Where’s my water?”

“I have to clean it.  I don’t understand how it gets so… slimy, week to week.  It’s gross.”

“I want water.”

“I know – give me a sec, almost done.  Getting it nice and clean for you.”

“But, I want water now.”

“I know!  I’m almost done.”

“But, ‘almost’ isn’t ‘now’.  I want water now.”

“Just another second, [...]

Conversations with my cat

'The Bird'

5:45 am.

*purr* *CHOMP!*

“OW!  WHAT THE FUCK?! OW!”

“What’s wrong?”

“DID YOU JUST BITE MY NOSE?!”

“Pffft!  That doesn’t sound like something I would do.”

“OH MY GOD YOU DID – YOU BIT MY FUCKING NOSE!  OH MY GOD!”

“You are so totally overreacting!”

“HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO REACT TO BEING WOKEN UP BY HAVING YOUR NOSE BITTEN?!”

“Well, now [...]