You know you kick some ass if you can show up on the list of Best Space Battles ever more than once.

In this case, it’s time to head to New Caprica and kick some ass and what better way to do that then to jump your [...]]]> Battlestar Galactica – Again.

You know you kick some ass if you can show up on the list of Best Space Battles ever more than once.

In this case, it’s time to head to New Caprica and kick some ass and what better way to do that then to jump your Battlestar into the atmosphere, go into free fall thusly avoiding the detection of the Base Star’s in orbit.  Next, launch all your vipers while you’re still falling and then, when they’re all in the open and just before you’re going to hit the surface of the planet, jump back out again.

Dear GOD, the badassery.

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What’s a solidier to do when faced with illegal orders and a government that isn’t listening?

Well, if you’re John Sheridan, you secede and declare your independence.  When that brings your own people down on you in a civil war, you have no choice but to fight to defend all that you hold dear.

And, just [...]]]> Babylon 5

What’s a solidier to do when faced with illegal orders and a government that isn’t listening?

Well, if you’re John Sheridan, you secede and declare your independence.  When that brings your own people down on you in a civil war, you have no choice but to fight to defend all that you hold dear.

And, just when it looks like you’re gonna survive, you’ve fought the good fight and you somehow managed to pull your collective asses out of the fire, reinforcements arrive.  For the other side.

Now what?

Well, you could get lucky and have some friends show up.

Delenn:  “This is ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection, withdraw or be destroyed.”

Earth Captain: “Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ships.”

Delenn:  “Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari-fleet. He is behind me, you are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else.”

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“Once upon a time there was a boy named John and John was an astronaut. He lived in a far away place called Earth which is so far away you’ve never heard of it. One day when John was out doing astronaut things a big, blue wormhole gobbled him up and spat him [...]]]> Farscape

“Once upon a time there was a boy named John and John was an astronaut. He lived in a far away place called Earth which is so far away you’ve never heard of it. One day when John was out doing astronaut things a big, blue wormhole gobbled him up and spat him out at the far end of the universe. Things were looking grim in Mudville, till our hero met an amazing living ship, made some nice new friends, and he hooked up with his dream girl. We could’ve lived happily ever after, but the Peacekeepers raped, chased and tortured us for years on end. And two months ago, we got our asses shot off again. This time it was the Scarrans, big reptiles, oh! And Moya, our living ship, limped her way to your happy planet for a little R&R, because, we figure, it’s empty! Hey, no one is gonna bother us.  Next thing, me and the future Mrs. Crichton are having a private moment when you guys fly by – boom – badda bing – squiggly line, squiggly line – crystallized and it’s two months later.”

Crichton: Come here. Closer. You want to see it? The thing you’ve been chasing my ass all over the universe for? Torturing me, my wife, my friends for? The wormhole weapon? You want to see it?
Scorpius: Yes
Crichton: Beg
Scorpius: I beg you.
Crichton: That’s not good enough. Say please.
Scorpius: Please
Crichton: Pretty please
Scorpius: Pretty please
Together: With a cherry on top.
Crichton: Happy Birthday. Now, get out of my sight.

Crichton: Here’s how it lays out. Are you listening Stahleek? Grayza? Wormhole weapons do not make peace. Wormhole weapons do not even make war. They make total destruction, annihilation, Armageddon. People make peace.
Chiana: Crichton, can you stop it?
Crichton: I don’t know, maybe. It eats the whole universe, a monumental black hole, a giant whirling headstone marking the spot where we all used to live and play and slaughter the innocent.
Scorpius: This is insane, Crichton.
[John lets out a choked laugh.]
Crichton: God! Four years on and you’re finally getting that.

Thus ends the lesson.  John Crichton, astronaut from Earth, catapulted into a distant part of the universe and hunted for his knowledge of wormholes, builds the ultimate weapon.  The Peacekeepers and the Scarrans are fighting the war to end all wars and what does John do?

He teaches them that some things should never, ever, be created.

A fantastic end to a fantastic show.

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Your colony worlds have been destroyed or devastated by nuclear attack.

Your military has been eliminated by an enemy that can simply turn off your ships and pick them off one by one while they float, harmlessly, through space.

You have exactly 50,000 survivors left and one very old Battlestar to protect them from [...]]]> Battlestar Galactica

Your colony worlds have been destroyed or devastated by nuclear attack.

Your military has been eliminated by an enemy that can simply turn off your ships and pick them off one by one while they float, harmlessly, through space.

You have exactly 50,000 survivors left and one very old Battlestar to protect them from two enemy Base Star’s hanging around outside to blow you all to hell.

What do you do?

If you’re Adama, you position your tough old ass between the fleet and the Cylons and have one helluva space battle.

How do you know when they get somethng right?  When it -feels- right.  This battle feels right.  This is how war would be fought in space.  It’s intense.  It’s methodical.  It just makes sense and as you are watching it, you are on the edge of your seat.

“What’dya hear?”

“Nothing but the rain.”

“Then grab your gun and bring the cat in.”

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This was it – the battle to end all battles.  The Rebel Alliance sending snub fighters against the Empire’s most powerful weapon ever: The Death Star!

What?  You telling me you couldn’t bullseye something the size of a wamprat with your T16?

This battle set a tone for every space battle that [...]]]> Star Wars: Episode IV

This was it – the battle to end all battles.  The Rebel Alliance sending snub fighters against the Empire’s most powerful weapon ever: The Death Star!

What?  You telling me you couldn’t bullseye something the size of a wamprat with your T16?

This battle set a tone for every space battle that followed it.  You had a series of dogfights in space, you had the chase, the insurmountable (seemingly) odds stacked firmly against the little guy, and it all came down to one person with thier steady hand on the trigger, waiting for…just…the…right…moment…

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If you haven’t seen Serenity yet, well, leave.  Just leave.  I mean, honestly – what the hell?

The battle between the Alliance Armada and the Reavers is intense.  It happens so fast you have a difficult time keeping up.  Serenity is weaving in and out, Reavers are ripping up Alliance cruisers (thankfully redesigned from [...]]]> Serenity.

If you haven’t seen Serenity yet, well, leave.  Just leave.  I mean, honestly – what the hell?

The battle between the Alliance Armada and the Reavers is intense.  It happens so fast you have a difficult time keeping up.  Serenity is weaving in and out, Reavers are ripping up Alliance cruisers (thankfully redesigned from the tv show – I didn’t care for the ’sky scrapers’ they had on the tv show) and Wash, well, he’s a leaf on the wind…

*WHAM!*

“What the hell?!”

“It’s okay!  I’m a leaf on the wind!”

“What does that mean?!”

Fan friggintastic movie.

Also: “Target the Reavers. Target the Reavers! Target everyone! Somebody fire!”

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The answer most authors want to hear is a ‘good story’.  But, honestly, while a good or even a great story really will bring butts to the seats, a massive and shiny space battle is what we remember when it’s all over [...]]]> When you look at the scifi movie landscape, what puts butts in the seats?

The answer most authors want to hear is a ‘good story’.  But, honestly, while a good or even a great story really will bring butts to the seats, a massive and shiny space battle is what we remember when it’s all over and done with.

It’s difficult to find a really good space battle though.  I think that’s because of the cost.  Sigh.  Still, I’m willing to put together a list of some of my favorites.  Over the next couple of days, I’ll talk about the best space battle movies ever starting with:

Star Trek 2

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn

This is the Nicholas Meyer film that every guy quotes at least once in their lives, usually looking up, fists clenched in rage while they shout: “KAAAAAAAHHHHHHNNNNNNN!!!!”

In a nutshell, Kahn and crew were left on a planet by Kirk and crew years ago.  The genetically engineered Kahn and his people are left to fend for themselves with a promise that Kirk et all will check back on them – something that never happens.  After a plantary disaster, Kahn’s people find themselves roughing it on a sand planet.  Years later, Chekov and his new captain, Terrell, come across Kahn who quickly takes over the U.S.S. Reliant and sets off to find and kill the now Admiral James T. Kirk.

The ensuing battle is pretty intense, with Enterprise getting caught with her pants down.  The battered ship and crew have to fight the smaller, faster Reliant in a game of cat and mouse inside of a nebula.  The action is similar to a submarine drama (I often remark that the Hunt for Red October is very similar in my mind to Kahn) where the two captains have to figure out what the other is going to do while flying blind and waiting for that one mistake that will reveal the others location…

Thrown in for good measure is the Genesis Device, a missle full of scifi goodness that can rewrite the molecules of a planet to create life, or overrite life ‘in favor of it’s new matrix’.

…and it’s sitting in the Reliant’s transporter room.

Definitely one of the best space battles ever, imho.  Well worth checking out if you’ve never seen it before.

Just watch out for Shatner’s hair…

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