Category: The Cat

Conversations with my cat

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*barf* “AWWWWW! DUDE! ON THE CARPET?! WHY?” “I didn’t want to get it on the wood floor – that would be gross! Now, clean it up. I’m gonna go nap in a sunbeam.” “. . .”

Conversations with my cat

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“Hey! The closet door is closed. I need to get in there.” “The closet door is closed because SOMEONE keeps going in there, trying to climb as high as possible, and knocking shit over. Not to mention he uses my…

Conversations with my cat

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*last night* “…look, I know we talk about a lot of stuff, but I have to say – this is the weirdest thing you have ever, ever done.” *muffled noises* “What?” *muffled noises* “What?!” *muffled noises* *Pulls covers back on…

Conversations with my cat

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“Hey! Where’s my water?” “I have to clean it.  I don’t understand how it gets so… slimy, week to week.  It’s gross.” “I want water.” “I know – give me a sec, almost done.  Getting it nice and clean for…

Conversations with my cat

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5:45 am. *purr* *CHOMP!* “OW!  WHAT THE FUCK?! OW!” “What’s wrong?” “DID YOU JUST BITE MY NOSE?!” “Pffft!  That doesn’t sound like something I would do.” “OH MY GOD YOU DID – YOU BIT MY FUCKING NOSE!  OH MY GOD!”…

Conversations with my cat

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5:30 am. *purrrrr* *groan – looks at the clock* “Oh, gadz – are we doing this again?” “Doing what?” *purrrr* “You haven’t woken me up at 5:30 am in a month or more.” “I don’t know what you mean.” “The…

Conversations with my cat

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*Grabs tail* “That’s MY tail!” *ears twitch* “No, it’s not.” *flicks tail* *grabs tail again* “My tail.” *ears twitch, lie flat briefly* “No.  It’s not.” *flicks tail* *Grabs tail* “That’s MY tail.” “RAWR!” *flips, spins, attacks, claws and teeth* “Okay,…

Conversations with my cat

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“Hey.  hey, you.  Wake up.”  *paw in the face* “Mrrmmble…” *snore* “Hey.  Wake up.  Come on.” *paw in the face* “Whu?*” *bleary eyed stare at clock*  “It’s 5 am.” “I’m out of food.  I need you to feed me.” “You…

Conversations with my cat

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*in bed, reading a book. Cat hops up, walks onto the book and plops down.* “…um.” “Yo. Wassup?” “Well, I was reading a book.” “Really? That’s interesting. You do interesting things.” *rolls over, rubbing his face against the pages* “…yeah,…

Conversations with my cat

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*Silently, the jungle Panther stalks across the bed, hunting the unknown. Focused, attentive, nothing gets past his watchful eye. He pauses, sniffing the blanket before him and the gentle slope rising and falling just a step or two away. Could…