No, I Won’t Get You Lunch Today

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Okay – I really want to blog about the awesomeness that was the Pikes Peak Writers Conference, 2014, but that requires more time than I have today for blogging – so instead, I’m gonna talk about being the lunch person.

garbanzo_grillI don’t want to be the lunch person.

The lunch person is that someone in your office who says, “I’m heading out to lunch.” and then someone else says, “Oh? Where are you going?” which is then followed up by the inevitable, “Will you pick me up something while you’re there?”  Answering that question is like entering into a binding contract stating you will forever more be responsible for getting other people their lunches, and I don’t want to be that guy.

What follows is an endless stream of, “Did you remember no pickles? I can’t eat pickles.” and “I said I wanted the sauce on the side!” and, of course, “Where’s my (insert whatever here)? I can’t believe you didn’t check the bag to make sure it was in there!” which can all be stressful and, honestly, a pain in the ass.  Not to mention, “Hey – i don’t have any cash today – can you float me and I’ll catch you on payday?”

Blargh.

The problem is, when you’re the lunch person, very few people ever say “Thank you!”

And who wants to deal with that?