Stupid has been going on and on about the stupid words he types on the thing he keeps on his lap when he should be sitting still so I can sleep, and when he wasn’t uttering pure gibbering (which is like ALL THE FUCKING TIME!), I realized he was telling lies about me and you were gobbling it all up like a much fatter cat than me would eat his dinner. I am not fat. And I don’t like Stupid telling lies about me or making me look bad to you, so I used my superior cat-powers to take over his Stupid lap-thingie and write the truth. I’m calling it ‘Conversations with Stupid’. I know you’ll like it loads better than the shit Stupid spews out his weird mouth.
LOVE IT OR I’LL SCRATCH YOU! You can read the first one below.
Shadow The Cat
King of All The Things
Conversations with Stupid
Stupid: Hey! Blah blah blah I’m stupid!
Me: YEAH I KNOW – WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?
Stupid: I have a big head.
Me: OH MY GOD YOU DO! HOW DO YOU NOT FALL OVER ALL THE TIME?
Stupid: BLAH BLAH PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
Me: *sigh* I’m going to patrol the house because without me, you’d probably die from spider bites.
Stupid: I don’t like spiders.
Me: WHICH IS WHY I PROTECT YOU FROM THEM – GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID! I’M LEAVING