They have decided that ‘free food’ is a great motivator for employees. Who are ‘they’? I have no idea. But ‘they’ are responsible for the lion-share of bullshit in this world. (I don’t have the numbers to back that up)
They: “If you [insert onerous task you would not ever normally do like work a bazillion hours without a break or do cartwheels through a minefield] we’ll bring in [shitty, cheap food/pizza] for everyone!”
People: “Yay!” [goes crazy trying to complete onerous task they would never normally do]
Me: “Meh.”
They: “Hey! We have plenty of shitty pizza here! Who wants some?!”
Me: “Meh.”
They: “Here! Have some shitty pizza!”
Me: “Um. No.”
They: “DRINK THE FUCKING KOOL-er, have some pizza!”
Me: “. . .”
I just don’t get it. Why is free food such a motivator? Especially bad free food. Like, the cheapest pizza in town. Or the state. Or the country. Possibly the world. I swear to god they make this shit in a factory somewhere overseas and ship it prepackaged or something for like a dollar.
So, yeah. Cheap pizza. The kind of shit Chuck E Cheese’s says, “oh no – we can’t serve that shit… we have standards…”
O_o
I don’t know why free food doesn’t resonate with / motivate me. My first reaction to ‘free food’ is that I didn’t choose it, I didn’t order it, I don’t know where it came from and I don’t want it. When I get pizza, I don’t like the cheap shit. Maybe I’m a pizza snob. Well, we KNOW I’m a pizza snob, but you get what I mean. Probably. Right?
Someone once told me that she wouldn’t eat food prepared by someone she didn’t know. I asked about restaurants and she said she had to be comfortable with them. Okay. Maybe I’m uncomfortable with the idea of food I didn’t order from places I wouldn’t order from.
Or maybe I overthink things. Maybe I see the ‘free food’ for what it is, or what it’s intended to be; a motivator to get you to see value being offered where really there is no intrinsic value at all.
It’s like paying for a discount. What the fuck?
“If you join our blah blah club for just BLAH BLAH MONEY MONEY MONEY per year, you an enjoy a 5% discount on all your purchases and I won’t press this cattle-prod against your testicles… Sound good? Mmkay…?”
(weird mood)
~P
1 Comment
A point to this, Patrick.
A couple of times a year, as a member of the Employee Committee, I help organize an employee breakfast catered by a local restaurant. It’s very good food but expensive. We floated a trial balloon of saving money by going with something cheaper.
The cries of outrage caused us to back off of changing the breakfast.
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