Giving Crack to an Addict

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tivo_dvrAs part of the new job, I have been given “free” tv.  I put free in quotes because I have just a couple of bits I have to pay for, like having a DVR, but I am getting all the equipment, television channels, premiums like HBO and Showtime, all for “free”, so what I am paying now is a ridiculously small amount.  Like, a 13th of what I used to pay for cable.  (That’s probably not accurate.  I hate math.  But it’s a fraction.  A small fraction.)

Also, I have a DVR now that records so much content, I couldn’t possibly watch it all.  Yet, being the tv-head that I am, I want to watch it all.  And that’s not good.  In fact, it’s a time suck.  I have better things to do (like write).  I’ve equated it in my brain to giving a crack addict a big ol’ bucket of crack.  Worse, a crack bucket of holding that is constantly refilling every night.

I am a fan of DVR’s.  I wanted a TiVo from the moment I heard about them, and around 6 years ago, finally got one.  It had 2 tuners and HD.  What that means is: you can watch or record 2 channels at the same time.  Or, you could be recording 2 channels simultaneously while watching something you’ve already recorded.  The new DVR has 3 tuners, but 1 of those tuners can be set to record ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox, all 4 networks, every single show, during primetime hours.

Crack.  Seriously.

Shows that I considered watching but chose not to – those are now available to me.  It’s easier to click ‘play’ and veg out than it is to flip open the laptop and write (sadly).  So I find myself having to be more disciplined.  Remind myself of what is, and isn’t, important.  Like writing.

Saying this, I had someone call me and ask to be setup with 9 tvs.  He wanted 9 tvs so he could have 9 tuners for recording.  “I never want to miss anything or have any conflicts.” It reminded me of Mr. Universe.  Can’t stop the signal, Mal…  Imagine sitting in a dark room with a wall of televisions, each one tuned to a different channel, all of them recording… Ack.

…I never want to be that person, so invested in television that I have to record EVERYTHING.  Watch EVERYTHING.

Crack.  Yikes.

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