Random Thoughts

Random thoughts for Tuesday, July 24th, 2012

/brt

Most men will flush the toilet before going to the bathroom, then try to race the flush.  I like to add a second level of intensity by putting something in the microwave…

* * *

Something to consider…

“What happened here, sir?”

“Well, officer, someone stole my books!”

“Books?  How many are we talking here?”

“Over a thousand.”

“Holy crap!  Did they have a truck or a van of some sort?”

“No, no – they ran off on foot in that direction.”

“…  They stole a thousand books from you, and ran off on foot?”

“Yes!  Fast, too.”

“I don’t understand.  How can someone steal a thousand books and not have a truck or something?”

“My Kindle!”

* * *

Something else to consider…

“Hey!  Hi!  Listen, I need some help.  You see, I’m moving and–”

“OH!  UH, I have, uh, *cough-cough* nasty cold.  Need to sleep.  Bye.”

“Huh.  That’s like the tenth friend to be sick and can’t help with the move.”

“Could it have something to do with the thousand books you have that nobody wants to carry down six flights of stairs?”

“. . .”

* * *

“This can’t possibly be right… can it? Would they really send me down a mountain dirt road? What if another car comes in the opposite direction? What would I do? What would they do? Would one of us have to back up? Or pull into the bushes? Could I get out of the bushes? Is this why they suggested 4-wheel drive? What if Bigfoot is out here? Or aliens? I AM NOT TRAVIS WALTON – YOU DON’T WANT ME! …I’m probably overreacting, here. Um.”

* * *

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yes.”

“What did I just say?”

“…you asked if I were listening to you.”

“Before that.”

“Hello?”

“After that.”

“I don’t understand the question.”

* * *

Whose dish is on the Chopping Block?!

* * *

“Patrick? I want you to know that the dishwasher is empty.”

Translation: Load the dishwasher.

/ert

~P