Random Thoughts for Thursday, November 17th, 2011

/begin random thoughts

“Oh my god!  What are you doing?”

“What?  Oh!  Nothing!  I swear!”

“Is that…?  OH GOD, OH GOD IT IS!”

“No, no – honey, you’ve got this all wrong.”

“On the laptop that our children use?  How could you?”

“Look, it’s not what you think!”

“What is it then, George?  Huh?  What is it?”

“I-”

“I thought you were done with this shit!”

“I was!  I am!  I swear it!”

“Then why is it here, George?  Why?”

“There was a guy at work, he had it pulled up on his computer-I DIDN’T THINK THERE’D BE ANY HARM IN JUST LOOKING!”

“I remember the 90’s!  I’m not going through that again!  This family is not going through that again!”

*sobbing* “I’m sorry!  I just can’t help myself!  I’m so weak!”

“You have to stop, George.  You have to stop right now.”

“I will, I will… but-”

“No ‘buts’, George.  You have to uninstall Spider Solitaire!

* * *

We obsess over the strangest things.

* * *

Starbucks gut busted for secretly charging an extra, hidden fee of $1.50 when anyone bought less than a pound of coffee beans.  Whoda thunk Starbucks would overcharge for coffee?!

* * *

Retrieving…

* * *

You know that thing that characters in tv and movies sometimes do – where they break the fourth wall and talk directly to the camera, and the other characters around them don’t notice it or know what’s going on or pay attention?  Almost as if the character is stepping out of their reality to speak with the audience?

Yeah, that doesn’t work in real life.  People notice.  They also stare.

…awkward.

* * *

STUPID SPIDER SOLITAIRE!

* * *

You know, they never tell you when you’re a kid that growing up means that eventually, you will have to handle someone else’s poop.  It can be a cat, a dog, a gerbil, your baby or your senior adult parent, but eventually, you will handle someone else’s poop…

…and that’s just gross.

* * *

Jabberwocky!

* * *

Hal Jordan (as played by Ryan Reynolds): “In brightest day, in blackest n-”

John Stewart (as played by Eddie Murphy circa Beverly Hills Cop): “OH! Why it gotta be blackest night?”

* * *

(I DON’T KNOW WHY!  THESE THINGS JUST POP INTO MY HEAD!)

* * *

If I had a dollar for every time I said ‘if I had a dollar’, I’d have $12.68.  (adjusting for inflation).

/end random thoughts

~P

4 Comments

  • Paul (@princejvstin) Posted November 17, 2011 9:45 am

    This truly was a random set. 🙂

    • Patrick Hester Posted November 17, 2011 4:13 pm

      I’ll take that as a compliment. 🙂

      ~P

  • Bryan Thomas Schmidt Posted November 17, 2011 8:17 pm

    For the love of GOD man, see a doctor. You’re having a bad reaction to whatever meds you’re on. If you’re not on any, get some!

  • galen Posted November 17, 2011 9:05 pm

    oh. wow. nice!

Comments are closed.