Random thoughts for Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

/begin Random Thoughts

It’s like that moment on your birthday where you’re surrounded by all of your friends, a giant birthday cake on the table before you, covered in bright candles and everyone is telling you to ‘make a wish’ and all you can think is, “Oh, please – don’t let me spit when I blow these out…”

* * *

*Hollywood* “Okay, we’re getting screwed here. Sony, Fox, Universal, Columbia, Warner Brothers – they’re all making money on these stupid freaking comic book movies!  We need to jump on the bandwagon!”

“That’s easier said than done.  All the good properties are locked up.  There isn’t a lot left to choose from.”

“Fine, whatever – what can we get cheap?”

“Well, the only thing left is a minor Marvel character.”

“I don’t care what it is, let’s snap it up.”

*six months later* “…proud to announce Megan Fox is attached to the big screen adaptation of the Marvel Superhero – Squirrel Girl!”

* * *

*commercial* “OnStar – safely connecting you in ways you never thought possible.”

*reality* “OnStar support – how may I help you?”

*grunting, heavy breathing*

“…hello?  This is OnStar support.  Do you need assistance?”

“…what?”

“I didn’t say anything…”

“Hello?  This is OnStar-“

“OH MY GOD – YOU HIT THE ONSTAR BUTTON!”

‘What?  No! I-”

“You kicked it or something! They heard us!”

“It’s okay.  Why are you putting your shirt back on?  Wait!”

“Take me home.”

“Aww, come on!  We don’t have to stop now.  OnStar can help-”

“How?  How can OnStar help?”

“OnStar?”

“Yes?”

“Where can we find condoms around here?”

“Take me HOME!

* * *

We need a new extreme sport. I’m thinking death-duel hang-gliding.

* * *

I saw a Dead Head sticker on a Cadillac! O_O!

* * *

*lens flare*

* * *

I had something really good for this but I forgot what it was.

/end Random Thoughts

~P