Conversations with my cat

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Shadow: “Wait – what are you doing?”

Me: “Packing.”

“Pack- OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! ARE WE MOVING AGAIN?!”

“What?  No.  We’re not moving again.”

“Well good.  The last time we did that, you brought that monster-“

“His name is ‘Dakota’ and he’s not a monster…”

“-into MY new house and- wait, if you’re packing but we’re not moving, why are you packing?”

“…uhhhh, well – I’m going on a trip.”

“A trip?  What the hell is ‘a trip’?”

“It means I’m gonna be gone for a few days.  I’m gonna fly on a plane-”

“WAIT WAIT WAIT – WHERE WAS I WHEN THIS DECISION WAS MADE?”

“You weren’t really consulted.”

“Not consulted?” *climbs into suitcase* “Let’s see you ‘consult’ your way out of this.  What are you doing?”

“Taking a photo – this is so cute everyone on Twitter and Facebook will be flipping out…”

“I hate you.”

“Uh-huh… Say ‘I’m effin cute’.”

*ears back* “I’m going to shred your pillow while you’re gone.”

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