Random thoughts for July 21, 2010

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/begin random thoughts

Ack!

* * *

I should totally get pie today…

* * *

That can’t be good… Look at the way it’s just hanging there…  I should tell someone…

* * *

Notgonnasaysomethingstupid, notgonnasaysomethingstupid, notgonnasaysomethingstu- Ah, shit.

* * *

Wheeeeeeee….

* * *

44, 45, 46, huh. weird. How’d that get in there?  *tosses it aside* 4-… uh… 4-… uh.  1, 2, 3, 4-

* * *

*radio announcer* Are you a woman entering menopause?

No.

*radio announcer* How many hot flashes do you have each day?

None.

*radio announcer* Do you feel fatigued in the late afternoon?

…well, yeah.  Sometimes.

*radio announcer* Do you wish you had more energy and a stronger sex drive?

…sure, who doesn’t?

*radio announcer* Would you like to lose weight too?

…okay, okay – I’m listening!

*radio announcer* Try our new drug for menopausal women!

Wait -what? No.  You tricked me.

*radio announcer* We didn’t trick you!

. . .

*radio announcer* it’s the new drug that solves all of your menopausal problems!  Some side effects may occur.

Of course.

*radio announcer* But don’t worry about those – that’s why we say them really quickly at the end of the commercial.

I knew it!  Lying sack of shit…

*radio announcer* So, order our new drug that cures all you menopausal symptoms AND gives you a better SEX LIFE AND more energy AND feeds starving children in Africa-

Why is it always Africa?  Are there no starving children anywhere else?

*radio announcer* -and helps Angels to get their wings. *crowd goes awwwwww*

Right.  Uh-huh.

*radio announcer* DoesNOTfeedstarvingchildreninAfrica, maynotgrantAngelstheirwings, maycausebleeding, eyeirritation, jointpain, lossofsexdrive-

WAIT! You just said-

*radio announcer* -headaches, drymouth, itching-

I am so turning the channel.

*new radio announcer* Do you have cats?  Do they keep you from sleeping the night through?

*ears perk up*

/end random thoughts

~P

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