This week, in honor of the fact that I have been on crutches since Saturday (due to a severe sprain of my left ankle), I thought I’d do something different from a Caption Fun Comic. So, I present to you:
10 things that suck about crutches!
- Stairs might as well be mountains!
- Can’t sneak up on -anybody-.
- Everyone asks, “Whoa! Are you on crutches?” (Here’s your sign…)
- Everyone also asks, “What happened?” and I’m running out of clever and fantastic stories to tell… (anything is better than, “Uh… I fell down the stairs…”) “Well, there I was when this orphanage full of children and puppies caught on fire…”
- Taking a shower becomes a one legged hopping adventure (cuz you can’t get your crutches wet. DUH!).
- Can’t carry -anything-! (so I’m using my backpack a lot…) (Try carrying a glass of water while using crutches. Go on. I DARE YOU!)
- Cat thinks you’re The Terminator or something. (“What the F-?! I’M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!” *zoom!*)
- Everyone tells you THEIR crutches story… (“Oh, yeah – I was on crutches. Course, I was hurt waaaaaaaay worse than you…”)
- You become aware of other parts of your body – like when you lose one sense and the others compensate? For example: Your good leg hurts, your hands hurt, your shoulders hurt, your arm pits hurt… and you’re totally aware of it…
- “Advance your crutches forward, then ‘swing’ your good foot forward but NOT PAST WHERE YOUR CRUTCH TIPS LANDED!” …yeah, right. *SWING-PLOP!-SWING-PLOP!-SWING-PLOP!-SWING-PLOP!* It’s like being a kid again and trying to get the swing going so high you flip over the bar…