Conversations with my cat

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*pretends to be asleep, opens one eye, rolls eye around – no sign of cat. Slips out of bed as quietly as possible, pauses, listening. No cat. Slips into hallway, quietly moves down the stairs, slowly inches closer to the basement door – edges around, looks quickly, then ducks back, breathing rapidly but silently.  Sighting on the back of the couch under the window. Slowly looks around the corner, only presenting one eye and part of his face to the room – sees the cat for sure, lounging on his favorite blanket draped across the back of the couch. He’s turned upside down, paws stretched up in the air, a good sign, usually means he is deep in sleep. Creeps back upstairs. Picks up laundry basket, creeps back downstairs and quietly opens and closes the basement door, cringing at the soft click as it catches. Starts laundry. 30 minutes later, repeats all of the above, then places first load in dryer and turns off buzzer so it won’t sound. 45 minutes later, repeats all of above, finds cat still slumbering, removes first load from dryer, places it on bed, checks on cat again, still asleep, sneaks back downstairs, puts 2nd load in dryer and 3rd load in washer, sneaks back out, closing the door behind him.  Sneaks into bedroom-

“GOD DAMMIT!”

*from his curled up ball position on the fresh, warm laundry pile* “What? dude, keep it down. I’m trying to sleep here.”