Conversations with my cat

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“HOLY FUCK!”

“um…”

‘WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?”

“I… uh… Well, I went to a movie…”

“A MOVIE? A -MOVIE-?! AND WHAT – LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE ALL NIGHT?”

“Yeah…”

“YOU BASTARD!”

“Look…”

“NO NO – YOU LOOK – YOU JUST RUN OFF AND ABANDON ME- HEY – WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

*picks him up, scratches his ears*

“WHAT? NO! STOP THAT! HEY – HANDS OFF!”

*flips him over, scratches his chest*

*struggling to get free* “NO – NO – YOU CAN’T DISTRACT ME!”

*gets that spot on his nose*

*PURRR* “GOD DAMMIT I’M MAD AT YOU!”

“Uh-huh.” *scratches his chest again, then his ears, keeps up the loving*

“I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GONNA MAKE YOU PAY… LITTLE TO THE LEFT PLEASE…”