So. There’s lot’s of talk out on the web about how there are plans in motion to reboot Battlestar Galactica as a movie franchise completely separate from the recent series that ran 4 seasons and 22 years on the channel formerly known as SciFi.
With this in mind, and since the powers that be obviously don’t think this will offend the fans of the popular show – fans like me and probably you – given that the show only JUST ended its run, I offer some suggestions on some other popular shows that they could reboot just as soon as they go off the air or, heck, while they’re still on the air! I mean, why not?
First up: Lost.
Look, this is the last season for Lost, right? So why not start developing the movie version right now? Heck – you go throw a little environmentalism into the mix what with the polar bear from season 1 and all. And, you could think younger with the cast, which we all know you like to do out there in Hollywood. Shia Labeouf could play Jack, Megan Fox could be Kate – I’m sure you can figure it out from there. Of course, you’ll have to change it to make it appeal to a ‘larger audience’ then the mere millions who watch the show right now. Maybe add a dog and a little kid – wait, that was already in the show for a bit…
We all know Fringe is cool and slick and doing really well – heck, it got renewed for another season, right? But why bother with writing show after show after show with those long, boring story arcs that the powers that be just hate because they’re so confusing and involved! Gawd! Just let Kevin Sorbo write up a movie for this thing, something really simple that anyone can follow. Since you’re committed to the second season, you could plan the movie for next summer. Of course, you’ll have to put young, fresh faces in the roles and maybe set the whole thing in high school instead of as an FBI drama. Maybe put a tortured vampire in there as an extra little hook…
The boys have said they’re done after this season (without having actually read their contracts, btw), so the time is ripe to reboot this sucker on the big screen! Two brothers, traveling the country solving mysteries involving ghosts and urban legends…it’s GOLD Jerry! GOLD! Add a hot girl and a dog and you have a pg-13 family friendly goldmine that will keep churning out crap-shaped gold nuggets summer after summer! Well, you’ll have to take out the sex – but not too much of the sex, and don’t show any blood or demons or magic – and for godsakes, whatever you do – don’t make the story scary! Have them trying to get from point A to point B with some adventures in between, maybe a little slapstick comedy – something with a rake in the nads, that’s always funny, right? And have Dwayne Johnson or Vin Diesel be the random, tough but caring guy who befriends the boys and sees them safely to their destination – like Bobby! Oh, and do it all in 3-D. And maybe animated. But not by Pixar – try Dreamworks cuz they’re cheaper. Christmas release, 2010? I’M TELLING YOU – IT’S GOLD JERRY! PURE GOLD!
*tongue planted firmly in cheek*