if life were like a…SciFi movie

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I don’t really have a Flash Fiction piece worthy of being posted (yet – I’ve got 3 that are ALMOST VERY NEARLY THERE IF ONLY I WEREN’T FEELING LIKE UTTER CRAP I COULD GET THEM READY)…  But I digress.  So I wanted to do another one of thee ‘if life were like a…’ things.  Today?

If life were like a: SciFi Movie

  • You wouldn’t be reading this. It would be coming straight to your cyberoptic bio implant from the ‘Net.
  • We would be completely unaware of the vast conspiracy being perpetrated by the people in charge to keep us fat and stupid so we don’t ever realize just how badly they’re screwing with us and our world.  …wait, that could be now…
  • Aliens would be very evil and bent on eating/killing/enslaving every man, woman and child on the face of the planet
  • …or they’d be cute and cuddly and just want to get home again
  • …and they’d all be British.  Or Autralian
  • The President wouldn’t know what Area 51 was all about
  • The laws of physics just wouldn’t apply…
  • Gravity? We don’t need no stinking gravity
  • The SciFi and Fantasy section of your local bookstore would just say, “Romance”
  • Lasers would be the weapons of choice for all Space Pirates. Pew. Pew.
  • Oh, yeah, we’d have Space Pirates (…locked in eternal struggle with space Ninjas and Space Chuck Norris)
  • Everything would be very confusing because of all the time travel
  • The boundaries between thought and perception would be so flimsy no one would ever know what, exactly, was going on
  • …except for Laurence Fishburne, baby, yeah
  • Ghost in the Machine? Try Ghost in the EVERYWHERE
  • Bionic men and women would be doing battle against GELFS and the Eugenics Princes over who had the right to rule the world
  • Bigfoot would be found. And he’d be Bionic.
  • The most basic laptop in the world would so be able to hack into an Alien computer system. It’s all UNIX, right?
  • Germs. It would all be about germs…

~P