As I look back on my weekend that was intended to be a writing marathon push to complete my novel tentatively titled ‘Sam Kane: A Novel of the New Universe’, I wonder where I went wrong.
At the same time, I know where I went wrong.
When last I updated the blog as to where my novel stood, I was at 89K words. As of last night I am at 91,770 words, which is not where I intended to be following the 3-day weekend.
Don’t get me wrong, I had some very productive spurts over the weekend and that 91,770 includes a lot of rewriting, deleting, editing, new writing, rewriting, etc and so on. But I feel that I could’ve been a lot more productive.
The thing is, writing isn’t hard – it’s just difficult. And there’s always something to distract you. If you’re going to write, they say, then write. Sit down at the computer/typewriter/device of your choice and write – it’s the only way you’re going to get any better at it and the only way you’re ever going to get anything accomplished.
My problem is that I am my own worst enemy. I think about what it is I need to write – specifically, I’m working on the end bits, the climax, the end of the emotional roller coaster that has been this novel and there’s still a few twists and turns and they’re proving difficult to pen correctly (in my mind) and do the characters justice. I hem. I haw. I walk around the computer, staring at it. I do laundry. I tweet on twitter. I cook. I clean. I go through my closet and make clothes donation bags and stack them in the hallway. I look at movie trailers online. I play video games.
In short, I do everything except what I should be doing which is: WRITE.
I don’t know that this is any sort of revelation for anyone reading this, or even for me as I’m writing it. I know that I’m my own worst enemy and if you’re a writer, you probably do similar things to procrastinate. But if everyone were like me, nothing would ever be published and we’d all be reading the sides of cereal boxes and wondering whatever happened to those squarish things we used to pick up and read – what were they called? Blogs? Blocks?